A Guide to Dressing up for the Hobbit Premiere

PseudoHobbit gives all you musicians an excuse to fiiinally bring your instrument to a movie theater. Anyone who happens to have a long beard, you will also be. —Sparkitors

With the first Hobbit movie coming out in just over a year, we’ve got to start getting our costumes ready NOW! Here's everything you need to know in order to dress up as any one of the book's thirteen dwarves, Bilbo Baggins, or Gandalf the Gray.

Bilbo: Wear bright colors, mostly green and yellow, and have hairy bare feet (or, you know, flip flops).  On the journey Bilbo wears a dark green hood that’s too big for him. Hold a ring, and conspicuously play with it, but never put it on. Alternatively, everyone can dress as either dwarves or Gandalf, and act like Bilbo is with them. After all, an invisible person can’t cast a shadow unless it’s a bright sunny day, and chances are the theater won’t be well lit.

Gandalf: Live up to your title “the gray.” You must be tall, wear a full cloak, a tall hat, and a long beard, all gray. It certainly helps to be naturally tall or wear platform shoes. Carry a staff, and glower at anyone who gets in your way.

Thorin Oakenshield: Thorin—that’s King Thorin to you—has a sky blue tasseled hood. To play this role, you must act like you’re immensely important, but not as important as you think you are. This probably involves having a longer beard than the other dwarves.  If you can sneak it in, bring a golden harp.

Dwalin: Blue beard, golden belt, and dark green hood. Dwalin plays viol, but that would be rather hard to bring into the theater. A pair of bright eyes helps.

Balin: White beard and scarlet hood. Balin is very old looking, and comes with his beard tucked into his belt.

Kili and Fili: Yellow beards, silver belts, and blue hoods. Each carries a bag of tools and a spade, but you may not be allowed to bring a shovel into the theater.  They both play fiddle.  Fili and Kili are the youngest of the dwarves.

Dori and Nori: Purple hoods and gold or silver belts. The colors of their beards are undocumented, sadly, but we do know they play flutes.

Ori: Grey hood and a gold or silver belt. Again: no on the beard color, yes on the flute.

Oin and Gloin: Brown hood and white hood, respectively, plus gold or silver belt, no specific beard color, and no instrument.

Bifur and Bofur: These two have yellow hoods and play Clarinet.

Bombur: Pale green hood. Bombur is immensely fat, and that’s important, so stuff your shirt. Bring a small drum, as that’s the closest you can get to the reality.

Have fun gallivanting though Middle Earth!

Does everyone claim Bombur, or is that just us?

Related post: Stupid Questions About the Lord of the Rings

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