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You Can't Escape The Rules!

You Can't Escape The Rules!

By Scott Greenstone

Rule #26: Even if You’re Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules. The joy just never ends!

According to E-Fein and Shusher, if you didn’t start off your marriage the Rules way, you may have some problems: your husband “treating you badly,” taking you for granted, even having affairs. Because, according to Shush-Shush and Ef-Ef, you probably initiated the relationship and he didn’t feel as if he had to work to get you.

Their tips to get the relationship back on-track:

“Don’t call him at work so often. When you do, keep it brief and practical (“What time is the movie?”). Don’t call saying “I miss you. Let’s make love tonight.” He should be calling you to express those sentiments.”

This settles it. E-Fein and Shushpuppy are trying to destroy the world’s industry as we know it.

Bill Gates: Alright, Mike. Tell me. Why is productivity down 27% this quarter?

Mike: We’ve put it down to Sexy Wives, Mr. Gates.

Bill Gates: I want you to rectify this situation ASAP, Mike.

Mike: Already on it, Mr. Gates. I’ve prepared a fleet of caramel-filled chocolates, chocolate-covered raisins, candied almonds, and caramel-filled candied-chocolate-covered almond raisins to rectify the situation.

Bill Gates: Just fine, Mike. Just fine.

“Act independent. Always be coming or going. …Make lots of plans with friends, your kids, the neighbors. Go to the movies, to the shopping mall. Just go. This will make him desperate to catch a minute of your time.”

Anybody ever seen Freedom Writer’s Diary with Hilary Swank and that guy from Enchanted? (That guy was lucky—99.99% of people in the world will never even get close to kissing Amy Adams, and fewer will ever get to make her come back to life.) Hilary Swank’s husband, the guy from Enchanted, left her because she had no time for him. He probably went off to smooch Amy Adams. (But honestly, who wouldn’t?) This approach doesn’t always work.

“Take up a hobby. …Women tend to feel empty when their boyfriends or husbands don’t include them in their plans or pay attention to them. It’s imperative that you don’t nag him to give up his hobbies, friends, or work because you’re bored. You’ll get more attention from him if you get even busier than he is.”

Or his secretary will get more attention from him…either one!

Verdict on Rule #26: Even if You’re Still Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules: Neh. Now, don’t hear me booing a married woman’s independence. I believe you should have things that you do on your own, or with your girlfriends, like…um…like…painting ladybugs on your fingernails? (Look, I’m going off of my little sister. Don’t be hatin’.)

Call me a romantic, but I believe that when you and another person get married, you’re going to be two halves of a whole. You’re not going to be girlfriend and boyfriend on an extended sleepover (although hopefully it’s just as fun, if not more!)—you’re going to be two people who have seen each other at night, and in the morning, with cellulite and bloated bellies, with split ends and snotty beards, and still love each other. Easier said than done, I know—but I want to try.

Do you think it's always important to seem busy when you're in a relationship?

Related posts: Blogging The Rules

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Topics: Books
Tags: relationships, flirting, blogging the rules

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About the Author
Scott Greenstone

I write freely.

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