Being Difficult Doesn't Make It a Sport

All_Is_Mal is about to define "sports" in very clear terms. Cheerleaders, brace yourselves.—Sparkitors

For some absurd reason, everyone who does any sort of physical activity insists that it is a sport—probably because most people think that makes it more worthwhile and more impressive. Of course, that doesn’t make any sense at all. Because sporthood is supposed to be such an honor, athletes like to tell other athletes that their activity is not a sport. And the reply is consistent and ridiculous: “It’s so hard! I’d like to see you try it!”

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay guys, difficulty does not make something more sport-like. Calculus is hard, painting is hard, learning Japanese is hard, playing Prokofiev’s Eighth Sonata is hard. Are these things sports? No, they aren’t.

Now you’re thinking, “Wait, but those things aren’t physical. They mean that their activity is physically hard and that makes it a sport. Ha!” Annnnnd, you’re still wrong! Breaking your femur is physically hard, construction work is physically hard, ranching is physically hard, having a baby is physically hard. And guess what? These things aren’t sports either.

According to Google, a sport is “An activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others.” So guess what? The activity that you’re getting all indignant about is probably a sport, but the fact that it’s hard is not the reason why.

So runners? Races are a sport. Cheerleaders? When you go to competitions, you’re participating in a sport. But when you’re cheering at a game and performing at halftime? That is not a sport. Sorry! Dancers? When you perform in a show, it just isn’t a sport. Going to competition? Sure is! I’m sure that preforming for people is really hard, but guess what? That doesn’t mean a thing! And you people who go around saying that baseball isn’t a sport are full of it.

So get coherent in your arguments! When somebody tells you that golf isn’t a sport, simply point out that it’s a physical competition and treat them like the idiots that they are when they argue further. Is it hard? Yes, yes it is. Does that make it a sport? Not in any way whatsoever—so stop using that as your comeback, people! You’re smarter than that!

What do you think: is something only a sport if it involves physical exertion AND competition? What about when you're just practicing?

Related post: Incredibly Strange High School Sports