Auntie SparkNotes: Brotherly Love

Dear Auntie Sparknotes:

I have what I'll call a unique situation. It involves two guys. One is my boyfriend, who I'll call Andrew. The other is his older brother, who I'm going to call Luke.

I love Andrew. I mean, I absolutely love him without a shred of doubt. He's always there when I need him, he knows me like no one else does, he sees me for what I am really am and loves me anyway. We've spent hours together talking, kissing, or even just in silence. We're that much in love that we don't need words. We're extremely close and we're more than just boyfriend and girlfriend; we share a bond that some couples never achieve, even later in life. We can finish each other's sentences, sometimes even start them. Our two year anniversary has come and gone and we've never broken up or even got in a real fight. We just work in this crazy way.

My problem is, I can't stay away from Luke. Now, before you write me off as a disgusting, horrible cheater, please listen. It's not that I don't love Andrew. It's just that I love Luke, too. I know that not everyone believes it is possible to be in love with two different people, and maybe it's not true for everyone. But for me it is. I love Luke but since I'm dating his brother we're forced to go behind his back. For almost the entire time I've dated Andrew, Luke and I have spent time late at night kissing in his car or lying on blankets under the stars. There's more passion, and Luke's love is so different from Andrew's love. It's exciting and fun and different. Please don't call it infatuation because it's not; I really do love him. I've tried to cut things off but the truth is I can't stay away from him. I love both of these boys and I know that they both love me, too. I can't imagine ever hurting either of them, and yet I know that's what I'll do if I keep on doing what I'm doing. I can't go on this way but I don't know how to stop.

Oh, barf.

Sorry, Sparkler, but really? This isn't "unique" at all. You're not the first cheatypants ever to cheat; you're not the first person ever to fall in love with two different dudes at the same time; heck, you're not even the first girl to get secretly busy with her boyfriend's brother. (Although I'll give you this: that last one is downright Shakespearean in its dramatic potential.)

Oh, and there's also this: you're not the first person to try to justify some seriously despicable behavior by dressing it up as an Unstoppable Love That The World Could Never Understand.

And if you're wondering why I'm being so hard on you, here's a hint: it's not that you're cheating on your boyfriend. (Not that that's awesome, either, but it's a common and forgivable offense among teenage relationshippers.) It's not even the outrageous length of the betrayal. (Although geez! It is really, really long!) It's your woe-is-me, I'm-such-a-special-snowflake attitude about it—where instead of owning up to your status as a big fat cheater, you've somehow convinced yourself that you're a misunderstood victim, all while completely ignoring the fact that this situation is one of your own creation. Um, dude? This didn't just happen to you. You've been actively, intentionally, unabashedly lying your face off for two freakin' years.

And let's be real: we both know why. Because while you say that Andrew knows the real you and loves you completely, I seriously suspect that your OMGPERFECT relationship would explode like a grape in a microwave if he actually knew the whole truth—particularly the part where you've been secretly snogging his brother for the multi-year entirety of your time together.

Which, for the record, you were never "forced" to do. If you genuinely loved both these guys, you had every opportunity to suggest an open relationship... to both of them. Which would have been fine! And might even have worked! But you'll never know, because instead, you lied—and not out of love, but out of desire to eat your cake and have it, too.

So enough, okay? It's time for you to admit your crap behavior, sit your boyfriend down for a very, very unpleasant conversation that begins with the words, "I'm in love with your brother," and let him make a fully informed decision about whether or not he wants in on this web of drama.

Or, if you can't say it, to simply break up with him and hope he never finds out why.

Or, if you can't break up with him and can't tell the truth, to break things off with his brother and spent the rest of your relationship silently atoning for your shenanigans.

Or, if you can't behave with a shred of human decency, to just go ahead and keep on doing what you're doing. Because when this situation implodes with the blazing, white-hot fury of a thousand suns—which it will, and in spectacular fashion—at least we'll all have the pleasure of saying, "I told you so."

What would you suggest to our brotherloving letter-writer? Tell us in the comments! And to get advice from Auntie, email her at advice@sparknotes.com.

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