Simple Tips That Will Get You Through High School

aspiring4greatness is here to help you survive high school. Listen up.—Sparkitors

Ah, high school. Hormones. Football Games. The girls crying under the bleachers for God knows what reason. These four years will no doubt be memorable, but until you master the way of the experienced upperclassman, you will have endless all-nighters, loads of mean teachers, two mental breakdowns, and at least one super-embarrassing crush. Here are a few little tips that will help you get past that horrible "continual humiliation" phase.

1. Walk behind people who know what they’re doing. If your school is like mine, the hallways are like the highway at 5 o’clock on a Friday: straight-up dangerous. Elbows will be sacrificed, papers will fly, and for Pete’s sake JUST LEAVE YOUR PENCIL ON THE GROUND, YOU FOOL! Trust me, it’s not worth it to stop, bend down, and pick up an easily replaceable item in the middle of a metaphorical hoard of jersey-wearing sharks. So, follow the biggest sharks. They carve their own paths, walk the fastest, and part the Red Seas of Freshmen with biblical ease. I guarantee that you will get to class early, but just make sure you don’t follow these giant sharks to their Advanced Senior Bodybuilding class. Now that’s just awkward.

2. Sit in the back on the first day. Nothing’s worse that plopping down in that last seat in the front row on the first day of school and promptly hearing your teacher tell you that “I hope you like the seat you are in, because that is the seat you will be in until you leave my class!”. Get to classes early that first day, no matter how nerdy you feel. Sit in the back, or at least the middle. Find your friends and forcefully yank them into the closest chair possible. Worst case scenario, your teacher will have a seating arrangement. Best case? You get to spend the rest of the year daydreaming out the window and swapping notes with your besties.

3. Buddy Up. Find someone in every class that you can pair up with. From partner projects to just walking to class, this person will keep your social status above the “friendless-loser” category. Also, walk to gatherings with your friends. Even at a small school, it’s easy to lose your friends in the crowd and end up sitting by that weird kid that is always chewing on his calculator. If you lose your friends, don’t panic; just ask the closest person that you know if you can sit by them. Chances are, they’ll say yes.

4. Plan ahead. It’s never too early to develop OCD. Keep a planner or agenda to organize what you need to get done. Pick classes with your future high school years in mind. Set goals early, even if they're vague. Prepare for college applications on the way, too! Write down or keep track of awards, volunteer opportunities, jobs, and other things you do that can get you into that pristine level of higher learning that your parents will love and you will too.

5. Find the good bathroom. There's always a bathroom that smells like a dead animal, has the absolute worst lighting, and is so run-down you’re afraid to venture near the sinks (picture Moaning Myrtle’s lovely home after about twenty years of disuse, abandonment, and all-around darkness). Avoid this baby at all costs, and find a favorite bathroom instead; one with windows is always a good bet, and if your school has a newer one, make it your home away from home. High school is an awful place, and bathrooms are where to go if you need a break from class, or when that stupid blonde gives you ANOTHER “helpful hint” about the right way to apply mascara. Trust me, when you find your safe-haven bathroom, your school day will become a little bit brighter.

I’m not going to plant lies in your head that “high school is the best four years of your life,” because unless you’re the quarterback or head cheerleader, it’s most likely that high school will kick your wimpy freshman butt. However, every experience is what you make it, and these pointers can make high school just a little bit easier. And remember, if someone tells you that the science lab is in the basement by the pool, please just ask a teacher for directions. There never is a pool in the basement.

THERE IS NEVER A POOL IN THE BASEMENT—Repeat those words over and over to yourself before you start 9th grade. What other tips do you older, wiser Sparklers have for high school newbies?

Related post: The Alphabetical Guide to Surviving High School