Burnout: The Best Racing Video Game EVER

Metalhead865 is not only a rock star, but also a semi-professional video-game player. It's a career that doesn't pay much, but what it lacks in salary, it makes up for in exceptionally realistic fake car crashes.—Sparkitors

You guys already know how much I like Portal, right? Well, my love for Portal is nothing compared to the love I have for the most amazing game on the face of the earth.

No, not MW3. I hate MW3. And Skyrim. I'm talking about BURNOUT.

It's kind of hard to explain Burnout, but I'll try. The following 5 points of awesomeness focus on my series favorite, Burnout Revenge.

1. It's a great racing game. Basically, Burnout is Mario Kart, minus the power-ups, with boost and real-time traffic. You race through cities, driving as dangerously as humanly possible, trying not to crash. Driving dangerously earns you boost. Slamming into rivals and making THEM crash earns you more boost (and is immensely satisfying). And when someone wrecks you and then you come back and wreck them, you really feel like you've accomplished something. It's the perfect game for us Manklers who are ticked at our sisters, but don't have any other way to get our aggression out.

2. You don't have to be good at racing to be good at the game. In Burnout Revenge, you will crash. A lot. At high speeds. But this is not necessarily a bad thing. After you crash, you can slow down the world and steer your wrecked car as it flies through the air. And you can use it to take out your rivals. Plus, sometimes the game lets you FREAKIN' BLOW UP YOUR CAR WHILE YOU'RE CRASHING. How cool is that?

3. There's an entire mode built around crashing. Besides the variety of race events, Burnout Revenge also has a mode called Crash. The title says it all: You drive your car into huge intersections and try to create the biggest traffic pileup possible. And if enough cars hit your wreck, you can FREAKIN' BLOW UP YOUR CAR again and cause even MORE damage. There's just something about watching your car explode in the middle of an intersection and send traffic flying hundreds of feet in the air. It's just so beautiful. In a destructive way.

4. MULTIPLAYERRRR. Besides the explosive (ha!) single player campaigns, Revenge also contains a variety of multiplayer modes. There's Race, Road Rage (take down the other player as many times as you can), Traffic Attack (plow through as much traffic as possible in 90 seconds), and three ways to crash. Yes, there are multiplayer crash modes—you just try to cause more damage than the other guy. It's so fun.

5. It doesn't actually affect your driving habits. I've been driving since 2009, and I haven't caused a single traffic pileup yet. Or blown up my car. Or sent that annoying Saturn Sky flying into the bowling alley (strike!). I would like to sometimes, but that's why there's Burnout. For those of us who have pent-up road rage, Burnout Revenge is there for you.

Okay, we admit it: this doesn't sound at all appealing to us—but that may be because we find driving, in general, to be terrifying. Are you a video game fan? Do you want to crash your fake car and then watch it explode in a blaze of glory and metal?

Related post: 5 Reasons Why Portal is Amazing

Image credit: http://www.gamewallpapers.us/wallpapers/burnout-revenge/car-explosion.jpg