Where To Make Out When It's Cold Out

As we head into the wint'riest of seasons (aka "winter"), we say goodbye to the summer days of making out on the beach, in the park, in a hammock, on the mini-golf course, at the pool, in a parking lot, and in that weird little nook between those two bunks at camp. (Anyone? Just me? Cool.) Where you should you gnaw on each others' faces in the colder months? How's about:

- A family member's/friend's vehicle: Hit up a secluded spot, turn on some smooth jazz, and get your smooch on.
NOTE: It's probably best if said family member or friend isn't actually in said car at the time of said makeout, because: gross for everyone involved. Also, if the car's off, this can happen anywhere, but if the car's running, make sure it's not in, say, a locked garage or a small, enclosed space. That would be really, really bad.

- The practice rooms: At my high school, there were always a few empty practice rooms by the music wing. This was great for two reasons: 1) there were never any after-school music classes, and 2) there weren't that many kids who stayed late to practice, mostly because the parents were like, "You will play your oboe at HOME, Joel, so that I can hear your progress. After that, we'll talk about your Intel Science entry. HARVARD, HERE WE COME!" Anyway, because of these factors, the late-bus kids were like, "An empty, soundproofed room where you can shut the door? MAKE OUT GOLDMINE." (Do not ask me how I know this, or how I know that band room #2 had the comfiest seating.)
NOTE: It's entirely possible that, unless you're on awesome terms with your band, orchestra, or chorus teacher, you'll  a) get seriously caught and b) get seriously in trouble, so proceed with caution.

- The movies: Yes, it's totally cliched, but that's because it's been used effectively since the dawn of time. (Or, uh, "the dawn of movies." Whatever.) Anyway, get to the movies early, score two seats in the very, very back, and kiss like kissmonsters for an uninterrupted 89 minutes plus trailers.
NOTE: Be discreet, and try not to gross out the people sitting around you. Also, since your parents know about "the back row," they'll probably be like, "So, what was the movie about? What did you think of it? And did you like the Ke$ha cameo?" When you're like, "Yeah...um...Ke$ha was...uh, weird," they'll be all, "HAH! Ke$ha isn't even in Immortals! BUSTED." This is why you'll both want to read some reviews first. A few minutes of pre-smooch research will reduce your grounding time by no less than 70%.

- A couch: Again, not the most original, but if you've got a finished basement or a TV room or a cozy place that can be closed off from family traffic, you'll have a comfy, private, warm make-out den. Use the guise of "watching a movie on Netflix" or "playing XBox" or something similar, and facesmash away.
NOTE: As you would before going to a movie, read up on whatever film you're watching or game you're playing. Your folks will be unthrilled if your description of Portal 2 is, "Uh, it's just like, um, Zelda," while you swipe your arm across your mouth to remove the lipgloss that's smeared all over it.

- The museum: I can't speak for too many museums outside of New York City, but The Metropolitan Museum of Art is gorgeous AND also has about 15,000 hidden nooks and crannies that are practically designed for getting your make-out on. Any larger museum should be pretty similar, so grab your crush, look at some beautiful art, and then quietly liplock.
NOTE: Guards. Watch out for 'em.

- Dressing rooms: He's just got to have you there to see how he looks in that sweater, right? Play it cool, and casually accompany him into the dressing room. Kisstown, Population: 2.
NOTE: Aggressive holiday shoppers and longer Christmas lines may make this impossible until December 26th, but if you do manage to sneak in, try not to let your giggles get the best of you. It'll weird out everyone else around you, and muffled laughing and smacking sounds are the alarm for retail associates to be like, "OUT. NOW."

Where do you make out when it's cold out?

Related post: Auntie SparkNotes: The Making of Out