Debbira, we don't care what you say. We all want a Mankler for a brother! –Sparkitors
So you already know I’m the little sister of a Mankler, right? Well, he’s IMPOSSIBLE! All of them are! They’re cocky, insulting, irritating, and they always take the last scone. EVERY TIME! If you have to live with one, well, first of all, I’m sorry. But I’ve got a few tips that might help! (These tips also apply to playing video games against Manklers. Use them as you will.)
1. DO NOT let him win!
Do all in your power to prevent him from beating you. Do an hour of research on any topics that might arise. Train a red-winged blackbird to help you. Hire a house elf. Eat cake (even though it’s a lie). And always remember: when trying to beat a Mankler, distraction is your most valuable asset.
2. Praise him if he succeeds
Manklers are like puppies. You beat them when they misbehave, and praise them when they do well. He gets an article published on SparkLife? Cheer! He can play another song on the guitar? Pat him on the back! He can finally pronounce “receipt” with the silent “p”? Applaud! He deserves it, because he rarely accomplishes anything.
3. Just ignore his rants
Let’s face it, brothers are ANNOYING. Sisters are little angelic balls of smiley faces, rainbows, and adorability, but brothers are just... yech. When his favorite band has a new album coming out, he rants. When you beat him at Super Smash Brothers Brawl, he rants (and occasionally sobs). How do you solve it? IGNORE HIM. If he’s sad, feed him first, and then just let him go on and on and on and on...
*SWEET SISTERLY MOMENT ALERT*
Really, though, brothers are awesome. They’re actually intelligent and much nicer than they seem. Therefore, hang out with him as much as you can before one of you gets your really late Hogwarts (or Pigfarts) letter and moves on with your life.
*THUS ENDETH THE SWEET SISTERLY MOMENT*
aaaaaaaand.....
THE BIG REVEAL!
First of all, shame on those of you that scrolled ahead and skipped that lovely bit of literature just to find out who my brother is. Shame, indeed!
But now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: my brother is metalhead865! You were right! Yay to those of you that figured it out!
Who wants to hear metalhead's response to his little sister's article? Bug him in the comments!
Related post: Ask Jono: Staying in Touch With Dumb College Siblings
Wanna write for SparkLife? Read this first!
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