A Recipe for Bella Swan

WishingForGlasses has given us the recipe we've been waiting for: how to turn ourselves into Bella!—Sparkitors

Let’s face it: we all know you’re after a broody, lovesick, obsessive, creepy vampire boyfriend whose name rhymes with Schmedward Schmullen. The problem? You're not a whiny, dull, daughter of a police chief….yet. But if you follow these steps, I guarantee you’ll be there in no time.

Here’s what you’ll need:

• 1 human girl, preferably pale, clumsy, and void of personality

• A quiet voice that continues to stutter to a point where only a vampire could understand it

• An intolerance for the smell of blood

• A very boring sense of fashion

• A lip-biting habit (your own lips, not random strangers')

• Ability to quote Shakespeare at random, preferably from Romeo and Juliet

Preparation:

Combine all of the ingredients into an awkward, chunky mixture.

Pour it all into a rusty, red Chevy.

Wait four years until your creation has endured multiple near death experiences, depression and self-pity, a dramatic love triangle involving a werewolf, and a painful, month-long pregnancy.

Then, pry out and enjoy!

Did we miss any ingredients?

Related post: Recipe week!