What to Do When You Meet Your Online GF or BF IRL

After weeks of online bantering and flirting and flantering and birting, the dreaded/hoped-for words arrive:

"So...what do you think about meeting up? Like, face-to-face?"

Gulp.

One "yes" later, and you're in an a stage-four meltdown of questions and excitement and worries:

- "What if he gives great email, but there's no chemistry?"

- "What if there's awesome chemistry, but she has some bizarre/insufferable habit like always talking over the end of your sentences or calling waiters 'garcon'?"

- "What if his voice is really annoying? Like, Fred Figglehorn-level annoying?"

- "What if she isn't actually into The Hunger Games and it was ALL A LIE?"

- "What if things are crazy right now and I really want to run away and pee at the same time?"

Breathe, friend! BREATHE. We're here to help you deal.

Freak out in private: You're going into uncharted territory with your formerly-online-soon-to-be-experienced-in-all-five-senses relationship, so if you feel the need to squee and bounce and shout and make sounds like "blurgh" and "flernzzz" and "HOLY MAMMALS WHAT IS HAPPENING!??!," do all of that. Just make sure it's in the privacy of your room or some other super-secluded/soundproofed space. Besties are welcome to freak out with you, but make sure they're the types who have a sense of when to stop. For example, wig out hard with the friend who's fun and gives great advice, not the drama queen who's still tweaking about the "spider" (aka "dryer lint that fell on the floor") she saw that one time when she was six.

It's totally normal to feel nervously excited, so give yourself a concentrated hour or two to get out all of your weirdest, spazziest reactions. If you let yourself process the feelings now, you'll probably stay calmer when you actually get to the meet-up, and that way you'll avoid spewing an eruption of crazy magma all over your man or lady.

Make sure your expectations are realistic: When you've never met someone in person, it's really easy to distort reality. Normal details get transformed into idealized versions of greatness, so "likes to collect stamps" morphs into "undefeated Model U.N. delegate and probable US Secretary of State," "has a great dog" becomes "PETA ambassador/philanthropist/veterinarian," and "kissed someone once" translates to "will ruin my lips for all others with the fabulosity of her smoochulars." Try to take the facts—like pictures, personality, and interests—at face value, and remember that your internet GF or BF is probably only human. (Unless you're dating a superhero, in which case, awesome.)

Know you're going to learn at least one new/unexpected thing. You've been experiencing your BF or GF through a screen, and adding a third "in-person" dimension throws lots of information into the mix. Try as you might, you can't possibly know how they smell or how their skin feels or how much they actually spit when they say "Mississippi" until you're face to face and actually experiencing it. We know it's impossible to walk into your first meeting without any preconceived ideas, but try to save some room in your brain for the new information, and be aware that you're going to learn at least one new thing about this person. Whether it's positive (that dimple is even more adorable than I thought it would be!) or negative (How much earwax can one human have?), try to balance it with all of the other wonderful stuff you've come to adore about him.

Don't worry if it's not perfect. It takes a while to transition away from having a chat/email/phone/Skype/text wall between the two of you. Much like a fine wine or a carburetor on a sub-zero day or Silly Putty, you'll both need a little time to warm up, so if the banter isn't instantly perfect, don't write it off right away. Let yourself (and your BF or GF) ease into things, and let the in-person magic flow.

Have you met your internet honey IRL?

Related post: 6 Lessons In Online Flirting