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5 Reasons I Hate Technology

5 Reasons I Hate Technology

carlorossiriver has a vendetta—against the very thing that keeps us employed. Sorry if we can't side with you on this one, dude.—Sparkitors

First, let me start by telling you that I am not your Luddite grandpa or some senile codger with a broken back. In fact, I’m still quite young. And, ironically, that is exactly why I hate technology. I could come up with a gajillion reasons why computers and other advanced electronics are awful… but I’ll just settle with the top 5. And some tacos.

1. More advanced technology = more homework. Since our teachers are mostly senile potatoes, they have very limited knowledge when it comes to technology. They believe that since we have access to the internet, we can reasonably be expected to know EVERYTHING. They’ll give us an absurd amount of work to be handed in the next day ‘cause they think we can accomplish insurmountable tasks with the aid of our computers. Don’t they know that the internet is a very dangerous place to go looking about for answers? We could see something shiny and get distracted! We could stumble upon a terrifying Justin Bieber fan cult! Plus, how are we supposed to finish anything at the speed of light if we’re technically not allowed to just copy-paste stuff from Wikipedia?

2.  Technology requires electricity, something the weather where I live will never allow. When someone asks me “what’s up,” I will always reply with “storm clouds.” And I will always be correct. The wind here’s been blowing nonstop for the past month, so the majority of the electricity poles got knocked out. And aside from the people the fallen lines fry and the bodies the fallen poles crush, these things also cause blackouts. Which last for more than a day. Since technology = knowledge/homework, then it stands to reason that no electricity = no internet/computer = no knowledge/homework = no grade = no future. So, basically, no electricity = no future. Sad face.

3. No work ever actually gets done when you’re having an online meeting. As I said in #1, we get distracted by shiny objects. Also, Facebook is crap. So is our attention span.

4. Ironically, technology makes communication much harder. The choices are overwhelming; do you text, email, Skype, G-chat, send a Facebook message, or just call someone? And the people you’re going to communicate with are going to have the choice whether or not they’re going to reply. It makes connecting impossible at times!

5.  The speed—or rather, the lack of speed—of the internet makes people very cranky. And cranky people make other people cranky, thus creating a very cranky world.

6.  You can’t eat the internet.

We think #6 is a very valid point. Everything else—we're not so sure (though we might be biased because we work for a BLOG.) How do you feel about technology?

Related post: The Top 10 Reasons the Internet Actually Sucks

Topics: Life, The Internets
Tags: facebook, technology, homework, group projects, internet, funny things, the internets

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