RAPTORS: The Ferociously Flirty Game You've Got to Try!

abbyblue is about to introduce you to a game that will almost DEFINITELY get you a date.—Sparkitors

The most spectacular game ever invented is currently rampaging through my high school. This game is not for the feint of heart. It requires bravery, will power and ninja fighting skills. It requires gettin' up-close and personal with the opposite sex. What is this game? This game is RAPTORS.

"How could I not know of such an amazing game?!" you cry out, tears streaming down your deprived face. The answer? I have no idea! Why this game has not spread to the far corners of the earth is a horrific mystery to me. But to remedy this travesty, I will graciously explain the rules of Raptors in the hope that you will partake in sharing its glories with your friends. Are you on the edge of your seat? Yes? Ok, now scoot back a little, you shouldn't sit in your chair like that. Better? Good. Now here are the basics of the greatest game ever played.

Who plays Raptors? This game is perfect for big outdoor hang-outs or parties, as a co-ed group of people is required. Normally played with about 20 girls and 20 boys, this is a true battle of the sexes. The boys are pit against girls, and each team is equally bloodthirsty in their quest for victory.

Where do you play? Raptors is played in a large field, park, open space, empty parking lot, or backyard. Raptors is played AT NIGHT.

How the heck do you PLAY? Raptors is very similar to flag football—only there's a lot more TOUCHING involved (so make sure to invite your crush to the next game!). The girls run, dodge, kick, punch, jetpack and ninja all the way from their side to the boys' side, attempting to steal the flag (usually not a flag, but rather any number of other things such as a sock, hat, t-shirt, tuba, or scrap of cloth *Note: using tuba not recommended due to strong possibility of concussions to be received by basically everyone*) and run it back to their own end-zone. Meanwhile, the boys'objective is to drag, carry, or pull all the girls to the specified jail location, from which they can be freed ONLY when another girl (who is NOT in jail) tags their hand.

The only rules besides those parameters previously stated? For the girls, no choking, racking, and—in most circles—no biting. In my last game, biting was declared too unsanitary and too painful (in a few cases, blood was drawn, and the gentlemen in question were most assuredly unpleased).

For the guys, no pulling of hair or inflicting physical pain is allowed. If the girl is crying out in protest because a male as just ripped her arm from its socket, he MUST cease and desist. Also, if she yells something along the lines of "my shirt, my shirt, LET ME PUT MY SHIRT BACK ON!" or a similar shriek about her as trousers, gentlemen are expected to pause for a moment so that the girl can adjust her attire and then they can continue. Whether this rule is necessarily practiced, well, that's debatable...

Is the reason why this game might be the best in the world, second only to Quidditch, becoming clearer? If not, let me tell you a story that might open your eyes to the wonderful world of Raptors. After carrying me all the way back from the boys' side—not an easy task, mind you—a certain friend of mine (who I happen to be kind of in love with) placed me in jail, told me that I was "feisty" in a very sexy voice, apologized for any injury inflicted, and we helped each other brush the grass, loose dirt, leaves, and bowtruckles off one another. We also spent the rest of the game talking in jail as the ruckus swirled around us, and ended up talking long into the night. There was romance in the air, my friends.

Please excuse my bias, but this is a sexy, sexy game. Sure, your clothes get somewhat destroyed by dirt, and your hair may get stepped on, but there are easy solutions to both of those problems: steal clothing and put your hair up!

Convinced yet? Good. Your job now is to spread Raptors and make it universally popular. Go, Sparklers and Manklers, GO!

We wish there were grass in Brooklyn, because we would totally play this. Are you going to bust out Raptors at your next co-ed get-together? IT SOUNDS AWESOME.

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