Help This Sparkler Edit Her Common App Essay!

By Contributor

October 28, 2011

barneysfriend is struggling with her open-topic common app essay. Do you have any helpful criticism for her? —Sparkitors

We agreed to meet at a place that suited both our needs. She suggested the garden in front of her dance teacher’s house. It was more convenient for her, as we could meet as soon as her evening classes finished up. I wanted to meet her at the town pool; I needed this opportunity to show off my brand new bathing suit. We compromised and finally decided on the mall. At least shopping was one remaining thing we both had in common.

She was wearing my old favorite when I saw her at the mall: a gray, black, and white Indian outfit, complete with a red bindi, that I used to wear to dance class, and I looked down at the simple sweatpants and blue shirt I had on.

“My teacher just let us out”, she lips curled up tentatively- a half-smile. I relaxed a little knowing she was just as nervous as I was.

I motioned for us to sit down, while I introduced the purpose of this meeting: “I’m worried about how apart we’ve grown. With you around, I used to learn so much about Indian culture, including singing, dancing, our native language, and even movies. Without you there, it is impossible for me to celebrate our culture and holidays, and I’ve forgotten how it is to act like a traditional Indian girl. I feel incomplete having only the American side of me”.

“I’m glad we agree on this”, the other half of me said. “I was starting to miss our annual barbeques, and having the Black Eyed Peas and Eminem on my iPod”.

We laughed together, relieved that we both wanted the same thing for once. As the Indian side of me grew apart, the balance in my life was tipped way off, and I refused to go to dance class or singing class anymore, and would not eat the Indian food my mother made. But I was never satisfied. I realized I could never be unless I had both parts of my life co-existing. Although I am now an American and have learned to live by the values and culture of my new country, I still could not function properly without the side that always kept me grounded to who I am and where I come from. I missed those dance classes now more than ever.

“I guess we know what to do now”, the Indian side of me said…

I got back home later that day, and my mother came up to me with her questioning spree. “Did you meet your friend today? I remember you said something about going to the mall to see her. Is she nice? Where does she live?”

“Yes, ma. She’s really nice. In some ways she’s a lot like me. She actually lives really close by- closer than you think”.

My mother widened her eyes at my new way of addressing her.

“And ma, could you please call my dance and vocal teacher? I would like to join my old classes again”.

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