Better Things To Throw On People's Roofs (This Title Will Make More Sense Once You Start Reading)
Without you, Maura44, we would have gone on thinking that the plural of "roof" was "rooves" for the rest of our lives—and that would have been tragic indeed.—Sparkitors
Being a nerd, I've never actually toilet-papered someone's house. But other people seem to enjoy it, and it's a popular Halloween-type thing, right? Of course it is. That being said, on the off-chance that I do decide to go throw things on people's houses in the middle of the night, there's no way I would be so unoriginal as to just toss on some TP and call it quits. We Sparklers are nonconformists! We never say never! We put our pants on one obscure reference at a time! Because of this, I've compiled a list of better alternatives to simply TPing houses:
1. Tortillas: According to my California-dwelling cousins, due to the abundance of cheap, tasteless tortillas in that state, teens drive around throwing them all over lawns and roofs. The fun is doubled in the morning, because dried tortillas break into small chips that are really hard to clean up (also, they are great with salsa).
2. Cooked Spaghetti: You know how gross wet noodles feel when you touch them? Imagine touching them while standing on a ladder and fishing them out of your rain gutter. Triple bonus points if you dye them pink and throw them in strategic, brain-shaped blobs.
3. Lava Lamps: Ok, this one's a little expensive, but how cool would it be to see the Technicolor goop running down the chimney?! Of course, you'd only get one shot off before the neighbors hear and call the cops, but it'd be worth it. Alternatively, simply purchase some goop from the...Goop...Store. Look, I can't have all the answers! Sheesh!
4. Old McDonald's Toys: Most kids get bored of those cheap plastic trinkets approximately 5.2 seconds after opening them, and I'm sure you were no exception to this rule. So, put 'em to good use! My old neighbors used to hand out old toys instead of candy, so this is just a more...creative...version of their idea. Besides, you can probably convince your parents to pay you for "cleaning out" the attic.
5. Kittens: This is less of a prank and more of an early Christmas present, because, hey, who doesn't love kittens? Other than people who are allergic, I mean. Wait, brainstorm! Throw them on the houses of dander-intolerant people! Why? Because those jerks are hatin' on kittens, that's why!
And when the police show up at your door with questions about the recent tornado of lava lamps that has ripped through your neighborhood, just remember: you were inside all night, reading SparkLife.
BAHAHAHA WE LOVE IT. Love it so much we couldn't restrain ourselves from an all caps "BAHAHA." What will you be throwing onto your neighbors' roofs? GET CREATIVE.
Related post: 5 Great Pranks You Can Use Year-Round