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College Creepers!

College Creepers!

By Contributor

Courtney Guth is here to warn us about a danger that lurks in the library, in the gym...even IN OUR ROOMS! —Sparkitors

Jeepers! It seems like college campuses are just filled with creepers! Campus creepers are scarier than anything you'll find in a haunted house this Halloween, and that's because they are real, very real. Don't think your campus is immune, no matter how small or large it may be. Creeping is an epidemic plaguing schools nationwide.

A whole variety of creepers can be found around every corner of campus. They’re lurking in the library. They’re lying on the lawn. They’re dwelling in the dorm. So hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ friends, ‘cause they be creepin’ e’rrybody out there. There’s no escaping them, so it’s important to know how to spot the common varieties:

Fraternity Creeper: He’s the brother who just can’t take a hint. You'll find him prowling near the “punch bowl,” looking to offer you a drink. You’re better off just sticking with your own beverage. He ends every sentence with the word “ladiessssss,” which in and of itself is just plain creepy. Not all fraternity brothers are bad, but beware of this one!

Library Creeper: Hidden deep within the stacks sits the library creeper. He’s looking to check out more than just a few research books. Don’t be fooled by his sudden interest in the academic journal you’re borrowing; the only thing he wants to borrow is your number. The boldest library creepers even offer up some terrible pickup lines. If a guy asks, “Are you overdue? Because you’re looking fine,” it’s best to run away. Fast.

Gym Creeper: The creeper of the gym rat variety can be found working out at all hours of the day. Go there at 6 a.m. and then again at 9 p.m., and you'll see him running on the same treadmill. He’s working up a sweat in order to impress the “ladiessss.” He doesn’t seem to realize that sweat and B.O. do nothing for his game, or that spending hours in the weight room just makes him look like a tool. His Situation-like muscles may be appealing, but his reasons for going to the gym are not.

Class Creeper: He’s the one sending out frequent emails looking for that special “study buddy.” He always arrives to class just in time to find that seat right next you. He says he's looking to exchange his digits for some homework help, but you can bet that’s not what he really wants. Beware if says he’s looking to study anatomy; he’s not referring to biology.

Dorm Creeper: Every floor has one. He lives in the lounge, just waiting for you to come in to heat up some ramen. He doesn’t seem to exist beyond the dorm, but since that’s where you live, it’s rather annoying. He’s probably outside your room right now. Wait, do you hear that? Is that him rattling the doorknob?!?

Call us crazy, but we think the library creeper sounds rather schmexy. Have you encountered any of these creeper types?

Related post: The Creepiest Creeper Who Ever Creeped

Topics: Life, College Advisor
Tags: creepers, creeping, college life, the daily trials of an english major, creeper week

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