Film's Creepiest Villains, Babies, and Dogs

Obviously, Jason and Jaws and That Pajama-ed Girl in The Exorcist are terrifying, but if you actually think about it, there are movie stars out there who are creepier. Way creepier. Here are the movie characters who make us pee our pants. But it was just a little bit of pee. Hardly noticeable. If you ever get too freaked out while reading this post, click here.

Cruella Deville, 101 Dalmations
Who? Murders? Dalmation puppies? Especially cartoon ones? Those ones are the cutest!

Cujo, Cujo
Okay, fine, Cruella. You can kill this one. Oh wait, not that. This one.

The White Witch, The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe
This villain is particularly terrifying because the whole Unable-to-Resist-Turkish-Delights scenario really hits home. Have you ever had those things? We'd probably sell our souls to an evil queen to get a taste, too.

Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty
Thought bubble of animator drawing villains for Sleeping Beauty: Make her freaking huge. With huge stick. And horns. And she's dressed in all black. And her skin is green. And her best friend is one of those evil-looking black birds. And she wears scary makeup. And... make her voice sound exactly like Cruella Deville's voice. Are they related? Sure. They have dinner parties together. Puppy Souffle dinner parties.

The Baby in Eraserhead, Eraserhead
Who's the brainiac behind this one!?!? Get therapy!)!@)# Seriously, we knew babies could be kind of gross (when they cover their faces with their own feces), kind of annoying (when they won't. stop. screaming.) and kind of high maintenance (can't you put your own shoes on today, Junior?), but insanely creepy and skin-crawingly disgusting? Not until this scene did we think it was possible. Ugh. Here, time for this.

Norman Bates, Psycho
This guy wins a creepy award because he's deceptively creepy. Villains are supposed to have huge horns and green skin, remember? And when they don't, we do things like invite them over for (non-Puppy Souffle) dinner parties and we ask them to get our mail when we go to the Bahamas. Which we feel like is a mistake with this guy.

Bill Lumberg, Office Space
Do you know why Bill Lumber is so creepy? Because he is real. Every office has a Bill Lumber. Our tips for when you meet yours: 1) Find out what TPS Reports actually are 2) Tell us, because we still don't know 3) Locate the TPS Reports and throw them in your Bill Blumberg's face 4) Beat the @#$% out of a fax machine. It really boosts office morale.

Jack Torrence, The Shining
Look at this picture. Then run to your father, hug him, and thank him for never trying to murder you. He'll be tickled that you've lowered your standards.

Gollum, Lord of the Rings
Gollum freaks us out because while he's evil and insane like lots of other villains, we are especially afraid to hug him. Like, what is that slime? And someone give him a burger or something. Hugging him would be like hugging a rake. A rake that bites you. He's going to bite us, right?

Pennywise The Dancing Clown, It
Ever since our third birthday party with Bubblegum Jubilee, we've known that clowns are evil. Thank you, Pennywise, for confirming that. You cannot trick us by slapping "The Dancing Clown" to the end of your name. We see right through you. Also, can you do something about your appearance, like get a haircut or something, to differentiate yourself from Ronald McDonald? Because the resemblance is uncanny and makes things really confusing to small children who want Happy Meals. And us who want Happy Meals.

Jigsaw, Saw
Separately, a tiny bicycle, greasy hair, and pointy bulls eye cheeks are totally fine. They can be hot, even. (Hay, baby, gimme some sugar.) But together? Freaking  I-just-inadvertently-creped-my-drawers terrifying. At least he doesn't have fiery eyes. Oh, he does? What the... GAHHHHHHHH!@#!)(@

That Girl Who Crawls Out Of the TV in The Ring, The Ring
Go back into the TV, please. We'll tell you when you can come back out. (Ed. note: neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)

The Girl From The Grudge, The Grudge
We can't even remember what this movie was about, but the girl? Burned in our brains. If children really are the future, then you'll find us kicking and screaming back to sweeter days where bad, creepy little girls were just curtsying, homicidal, amoral murderers in petticoats who pushed other kids into lakes.

Voldemort and his Death Eaters, Harry Potter
Dear Voldemort, wanna come over for a tea party? Oh, you have some friends in town? The Death Eaters? Sure, bring 'em over, the more the merrier. SIKE! You're not invited.

::Quiver:: Maybe you should watch this again. Who do you think is the creepiest movie villain?

Related post: How to Watch a Horror Movie (When You Are a Complete Wimp)