Chronicle Had Better Be Awesome or I'm Gonna Go Protest Something

Nicole-Lyn has even got us hyped about this movie. Who doesn't love semi-evil teenagers with superpowers? —Sparkitors

For those of you who have yet to be informed of the obvious, I am a nerd in every sense of the word. And if there are two things nerds love, it’s mockumentaries about totally implausible subject matter and superheroes. Especially superheroes.

After seeing the official trailer for Chronicle, I got super excited because it combines those two things, kinda like the first couple minutes of The Incredibles, except less interview-y and more awesome. Most of the realistic superhero movies have been about normal people trying to be Batman. This one is about not-so-normal people trying to be Superman, which is totally different. And hey, if they can make a documentary about Arctic birds who surf, then they can totally make a mockumentary about a bunch of teenagers getting superpowers. It makes sense.

So, from what I can tell from the trailer, Chronicle is about three guys who decided to film their road trip and accidentally stumble across an alien ship.

The spaceship gives them telekinetic powers, and they use their new powers to act like total jerkwads. I’m okay with that, because if my friends and I suddenly became better than everyone else, you can bet we’d be doing the exact same thing.

Everything is awesome. The three teenagers who got superpowers are doing what three teenagers with superpowers would do. (Realism for the win.) But then Andrew, who you can tell will be the bad guy because he has emo hair, shows that the force is strong in him by crushing a car all awesome-like. Then everything goes to hell. End of trailer. And it looks awesome.

This movie better be good, because I’m hyped up about it! I want to see it, and if it’s not at least passable, I shall be very sad. I want a superhero mockumentary about Andrew’s start of darkness, and I want realistic characters who act like buttwipes, because you all know that’s what you would do. And if this movie fails to live up with my maybe-too-high expectations, I’ll express my grievance in a strongly worded blog post—‘cause that will show them.

Does this movie look awesome or what?!

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