Where J.K. Rowling Went Wrong

We had tears pouring down our face by the bucketload after reading HappyMonkey16's post. Why Fred? WHYYYY?—Sparkitors

"Why are you worrying about
You-know-who
You should be worrying about
U-No-Poo
The constipation sensation
That's gripping the nation."

This is the kind of witty stuff the Weasley twins come up with.
I was sad when Cedric died, really sad when Sirius died, devastated when Dumbledore died, and don't talk to me about Snape, but J.K. crossed the line when she killed Fred. I can never, ever forgive her. Think I'm being extreme? Consider:

1. The Weasley Twins are no more.
They were a legacy, a duo so well matched that no word is there to explain such intimacy. George without Fred is like a computer without software: sad and useless. The Weasley twins were witty and funny, even in the darkest of times. When I see Fred, I see George, and when I see George, I see Fred. They are simply inseparable. George can't be funny without Fred--they need each other.

2. Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is ruined forever.
How can George be successful without Fred? Together they made the Skiving Snackboxes, Nosebleed Nougats, Patented Daydreams, Decoy Detours, Wonder Witch products, Extendable Ears, et cetera. They reaped Galleons and were probably the richest twins in the wizarding world. The Weasley family's label as the poor folk was, I believe, changed. But then J.K.R. killed Fred, and everyone knows that Weasley's Wizard Wheezes - Fred= Lousy Weasley's Wizard Wheezes

3. You-know-who may have died but the dark times will live on. Sure Voldemort died, but that only means Voldemort died. Who is going to bring the smiles and laughs when all the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes are out of stock? Who? Who? WHO?

4. George is sad and will never actually recover from Fred's death. He must feel like a dead man. It has been scientifically proven that one twin feels what the other twin is feeling--imagine what you would feel while being pushed into a grave. I'll never be able to forgive J.K.R. for not only killing Fred, but resigning George to a lifetime of misery.

5. I had planned to marry the Weasley twins.
Before Fred died, if you married George you also married Fred. That was the deal. Now I can't marry Fred, unless you can fit a ring onto a skeleton finger. And since George is basically a soulless body without Fred, I've been tragically jilted.

Are you ready to crusade against J.K. Rowling? Did Fred leave a hole in your heart?

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