How to Bust Your Friend Out of "Senior Citizen" Mode

TanTantheLadiesMan tells you how to change  your cribbage-playing, cane-toting, grandpa-esque best friend into a certified party animal.—Sparkitors

Guys, my twin brother was born with a soul that's already 60 years old. While all the rest of us “youngsters” are hanging out with our friends and partying (responsibly, of course), he’s at home either asleep or drinking prune juice. Little by little, though, he’s slowly pulling a “Benjamin Button” and becoming younger—with my awesome guidance, of course. So if you have a sibling, friend, or twin who seems to be harboring a boring, old person inside their body (or if they’re just a little anti-social sometimes), allow me to offer some helpful tips.

1. They need to want it. You can’t force anyone to change—so if your pal is perfectly content being a social recluse and watching The Price is Right re-runs, then more power to them. But if they've expressed an interest in NOT acting like the crypt-keeper, then offer your help and support!

2. Win the war, not the battles. Before you get your hopes up that you can turn your buddy into a young, enthusiastic party animal, you need to know that it’s going to take some time, and there are going to be setbacks. They aren’t going to feel up to hanging out with people every night of the week; sometimes, they're going to want to relax and wash their dentures. Accept that progress comes in small steps; if they went from never seeing anyone to hanging out once or twice a week, then that’s a really great change!

3. Start with things they like. If the person hates scary movies and crowds, and the first thing you do is plan a trip to the theater with 600 friends to see “Fright Night Blood Bath Zombies Revived 9”, then they’re not only going to pee their bed for the rest of their life, but they’ll also never trust you to plan another hang-out sesh. Find out what they like to do (besides knitting and napping) and then get a group of friends together to do that. Once they become comfortable with social situations and see that they have stuff in common with other people, they’ll want to hang out more often.

4. There's nothing wrong with alone time. Anti-social people aren't some sort of diseased sub-human race. Every now and then, everybody needs some alone time, and social recluses tend to want it more than others. Although it’s not bad to sit in your bedroom and read sappy romance novels once in a while, it’s also a good thing to get out and experience the world.  But always remember to be compassionate and understanding when trying to convince your shy friend of that fact; don’t treat them like an ignorant child. They are grown up (and possible possessed with a cranky 80-year-old demon), so help them without degrading or pressuring them.

This post is dedicated to my brother: Even though your soul has wrinkles, I’ll still acknowledge you in public!

Lady Advice: Although some girls may dig a man who can down three gallons of prune juice in under five minutes, you’ll never meet that lady UNLESS YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE! So, please, at least go to the nursing home or something to socialize. Sometimes you don't want to put yourself out there, but you’ll feel a lot better once you do.

Do you have any buddies that act MUCH older than their age? Are YOU a closet senior citizen?

Related post: How to Make New Friends—and Not Alienate Them