BonnieBellez, we think you'd make an excellent air marshall. –Sparkitors
Hey Sparklies! It's been a while. I would exchange pleasantries, but I'm peeved. See, I travel a lot. And every time I travel, it seems like 75% of the other people on the plane are under the impression that they're completely alone, and can behave however they want. On the bright side, they've taught me what NOT to do on a plane:
1. If you have trouble reading your ticket, figure out the problem before you board. Don't wait until you're in the middle of the plane to stop with your huge bag, look around, and start accusing people in row 20 of being in your seat, which is in row 5.
2. When the flight attendants says it's time to put up your seat and tray table and turn off your cell phone/laptop/iPod, do it. Don't wait for them to walk down the aisle and tell you. And once they walk away, don't continue your phone conversation. It gives the impression that you think you're king of the sky, above all rules of travel. And nobody likes the king of the sky.
3. Never put your bag in an overhead bin that's closer to the front than your seat is, just so you can get out sooner. Not only are you causing traffic problems, but now someone in the front won't have room for their bag.
4. Don't shout to your friend on the other side of the plane. Pass notes, create signs, do anything but shout. Some of us like to sleep at 1 a.m.!
5. For those of you who fly first class, can you not smirk at us like lowly cattle as we go by? It's not our fault we aren't millionaires...
6. Please, for the love of everyone who wants to travel quickly without a problem, don't decide you want to be funny and shout “BOMB!” at the top of your voice. You will find yourself being questioned in a tiny, scary room.
7. Don't kick the person in front of you. I'm not talking about kicking their chair, I'm talking about kicking their feet. Some airplanes I've been on make it easy for people with long legs to put them clean through to the next person's area. And yes, I was trying to sleep before you sent my foot flying...
8. Listen to the flight attendants. Did I say that yet? Because you'd think people would realize how important that is, but they don't. When they say stay seated until the pilot turns off the seat belt light, stay seated! What if we ran into another airplane and you were already standing up, trying to get your bag? Or another plane ran into us? These are called safety procedures for a reason. I don't want to die, and I don't want to see you die.
9. Don't ask for a drink the moment you sit down. The flight attendants are busy making sure we leave without dying.
10. Don't pop out of your seat the minute the plane slows down. We aren't even at our gate yet, and I don't want to have your butt in my face for 15 minutes while we taxi.
Let me sum all of this up in one simple guideline: Listen to the flight attendants and don't put your butt in other people's faces!
Safe travels and happy trails.
What's the worst behavior you've seen on a plane?
Related post: Why I Can't Stand Flying
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