Robots That Need To Be Invented

You know what's amazing? We live in the age of robots, and no one really cares. There are robots in our homes RIGHT NOW, vacuuming our floors and monitoring our cats while we're away and hiding in our closets with glowing red triangular eyes, just waiting for us to reach back there... okay, maybe not that last one, although perhaps you should check your closet now, just in case. Robots exist, is what were saying. However, some robots don't exist yet, and they should. Here is a short list of some robots that need to be invented.

Biro-bot: This robot consists of an extendable arm attachment and a laser beam. It sorts through the mountains and mountains of pens on your desk and finds the ones that don't work (so, all of them). It puts them in a pile,  then throws the pile in the trash, then evaporates the trash with its laser beam.

Pedicuro-bot: Do you love getting your feet massaged and your toenails painted? Of course you do. But unless you are some kind of foot model, your feet are probably weird. Yes, they are. Everyone's feet are weird. With the pedicuro-bot, you can get a great pedicure without worrying that the foot spa lady is freaking out about your webbed toes, and you can ask for rainbow striped nail polish with bumblebee stickers if you want. It's okay. The pedicuro-bot is programmed not to care.

Laudro-bot: This robot is shaped exactly like a washing machine, except it will come when you whistle. (Just like a Labrador!) Unlike a Labrador, it will use its robot arms to sort and wash the giant pile of clothes that is preventing you from leaving your room. And when your jeans start to smell, it will follow you around gently nudging you in the butt. (Just like a Labrador!)

Row-bot: If you've ever been in a rowboat for some reason, you will know that the peace and tranquility of drifting on the water are dampened somewhat by all that rowing you have to do to get back to shore. The Row-Bot 3000 will become a permanent fixture in all modern rowboats, and will do all the work for you, so you can kick back and feed the ducks, or whatever people do in rowboats.

E-bay-bot: This robot will stay up and monitor the bidding on that amazing, life-size, papier-mache model of King Kong that ends at, like, 3 a.m. It will always win, because it can type faster than any human. Or maybe it just connects directly to E-bay to make sure you win? We don't really know how robots work.

What kind of robot do you need?

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