WiseKnowMonsters would like to terrify you, comfort you, and then remind you of your own relative insignificance. Read on! –Sparkitors
If Blockbuster movies and cheesy television shows have taught us anything, it's that high school is a hellhole where the innocent go to die and bloodthirsty teachers go to feed. Gas masks are mandatory if you don’t want to die from the putrid fumes that escape the cafeteria. Gym class is a 50-minute wasteland in which the living envy the dead. Unless you have a better plan (you don't), follow my advice if you want to escape high school with the bare minimum of flesh wounds.
1.The cake is a lie. Rather, the opening paragraph of this post is. In all seriousness, high school isn’t that bad. It’s a lot better than middle school (or junior high, for all you folks still sporting parachute pants), and you shouldn’t be freaking out about it too much.
2. Don’t be cynical. Whether you're dealing with English papers, health class, upperclassmen, or being hung by your underpants on the flagpole, stop being such a Negative Nelly. Using your first English essay assignment as a platform to complain about your PARENTS making you CLEAN your ROOM will not give your teacher a very good impression of you. Which brings me to my next point…
3. Make a good impression on your teachers. If your teacher loves you, you can do no wrong. You can sit on a piece of paper and wait for your butt to do the work for you, and the teacher will think that you have just turned in the most intellectually stimulating piece of literature since The Deathly Hallows. Get that good initial impression on the books by turning in strong work, participating during class, and properly using semicolons; yes, you should use semicolons properly.
4. Talk to people! See an acquaintance you haven't spoken to for a while? That’s a perfect opportunity to bring up, say, how depressing it is that summer's over! What if you want to make new friends? As NicholleTheNarwhal suggested, you should compliment them or comment about something that happened in a shared class. If that doesn’t work, just fling a desk at them. There are lots of cool people in detention…or jail.
5. Start out working really hard. That way, you can slack off for the final quarter and still get an A in the class. (Disclaimer: It may not work that way, and some teachers will be onto you.)
6. Extracurriculars. Do them. Not only do extracurriculars look great on a college application, but they are fun and a great way to meet cute boys and girls with similar interests. What I suggest is that you cover your bases, with a brainy/nerdy club (debate club, wizard chess), a sports team (can’t play sports? Try track!), and an arty/musical thing. Voila: well rounded!
7. Nobody cares. These two words should help you get through most of high school. Whenever you have to speak publicly or do a solo, just remember: nobody cares. No, really. Everybody else is either sleeping or so preoccupied with their own presentation/appearance/crush that they won’t pay attention to you. And if they do? Well, they will forget it in five minutes—when they receive a totes fab text about how Bill totally like asked Meg out to Homecoming! I guarantee it.
What's your best high school survival tip?
Related post: The Alphabetical Guide to Surviving High School
Wanna write for SparkLife? Read this first!
Post a comment!