What Not To Do When Cooking

By Contributor

September 28, 2011

BeastAC learned how to cook the hard way...thanks to her, we don't have to. —Sparkitors

I was inspired to write this after I saw the Cooking 101 post (I'm really hoping it will help me). I love to cook, especially bake. Cookies, pies, cake, muffins; you name it, I'm there. I don't only dabble in deliciously delectable desserts, though; I am also a self-proclaimed chef. Unfortunately though, I am perhaps the worst chef out there. Baking is simple: combine, mix, pour/make into shapes, stick in oven. Bam. Done. Fin. No complicated procedures, no mind-numbing instructions.

I wish I could say the same for other recipes. Throughout my cooking experience, I have learned quite a lot concerning the culinary art. It is through trial and error that I now know what NOT to do, and so I share it with my precious Sparklers so that all of you may learn from my mistakes.

1. Don't follow the recipe. Perhaps I just blew your mind just then. Following the recipe can be good at times, but following it exactly will bring catastrophic results. The world will be thrown into chaos and the zombie apocalypse will begin. For example: I attempted to make chicken Parmesan a few years back to give to my dad for Father's Day. I followed the recipe to the letter. The chicken was raw, the sauce was bland, and the bread was burnt. Improvise while you cook and make it your own so you can have deliciously cooked chicken!

2. Don't use it if it smells gross. Your nose is your best sense of good food. If it smells good, you can bet that it will taste good. I didn't know when I used a new cooking sauce. The end result was alfredo sauce that smelled like vomit and caused the whole house to smell.

3. Don't forget to set the timer. This is a fairly basic rule that is VERY easy to forget. Even if you think you will remember without a timer, you won't. Distractions are everywhere, so just set the dang timer.

4. Don't get a loose hand and let the seasonings fly freely. I love seasonings! Garlic powder, onion powder, garlic pepper, black pepper, Italian seasoning...I could go on, but that would take too long. I used to simply grab the seasoning and basically pour the whole bottle in. That is not a good decision. Your food will taste like vampire repellent because you basically set off a garlic bomb inside it. And unless you're slaying vampires, this is not what you want.

Do you have any cooking tips?