Rose's Relationship Guide, Part I: You Are a Potential Camel Murderer

Rose didn't get into the love advice game just for fun, guys: she's really tired of all the spontaneously combusting camels. –Sparkitors

It's a proven fact that every time you have an awkward moment with your significant other, a camel bursts into flames. So if you enjoy desert mammals and want to keep them from going extinct, you must pass the first grueling test of your new relationship:

"Is this, like, going on Facebook?"

Just because you no longer make chipmunks weep when you talk to him/her (the result of all awkward crush interaction), it doesn't mean that the hard part is over. If you're dating, you have moved into dangerous territory: the full-blown "camel combustion" phase of your relationship. You're on top of the world, until some random passerby informs you that you can't actually be going out, as it's not "Facebook official.”

Three things run through your head.

-If our society is so utterly reliant on a single website to spread our personal news, what hope do we have as a civilization?

-WHY isn't this Facebook official? That would be so much easier then paying all those second graders to yell it through megaphones!

-Should I be concerned that this random passerby Facebook-stalking me?

You can respond to this situation in one of two ways.

Option 1: Send your SO a relationship request. Nothing wrong with that; it's easy and good for the camels.

Option 2: Talk to your SO about it. (You will hear the camel explosions caused by this throughout the world.) Possible outcomes of this conversation:

A. You find out your SO is good friends with your mom and would prefer to tell her in person before the whole Internet hears about it.

B. Your SO shoves you into a closet and says "We can't be seen together!" In this case, the reason you're not Facebook official is because they are embarrassed by you. Sorry!

C. They reply, "Omygosh I totally forgot!" (Causing extremely minimal camel damage.)

D. The dreaded "Oh. I didn't know you wanted to be Facebook official." Whoa, you just murdered three camels! Doesn’t feel good, does it?

You're going to want to up your animal-kingdom karma, and I can help! Join me next time, when we discuss how to introduce your new SO to your family, with minimal camel carnage.

Have you ever gone "Facebook official"? Was it awkward? Do you even CARE about camels, you heartless fiend?

Related post: How to Act When You Run Into Your Ex

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