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The Great New York Lightsaber Battle of 2011

The Great New York Lightsaber Battle of 2011

Only in New York City can hundreds of mature, full-grown adults dress up as Jedi and whack each other with plastic lightsabers for two hours. Luckily, I live in New York.

On Saturday night I donned my Princess Leia buns and met up with a group of friends to go join Newmindspace's 2011 Lightsaber Battle.

In a word, it was epic.

We picked up the lightsabers we'd bought online the week before, little shiny faces glistening with excitement because THERE WERE HUNDREDS OF OTHER PEOPLE WITH LIGHTSABERS WAITING IN THE PARK TO DUEL US. It was a nerd's dream-come-true.

Finally, glowing plastic-flashlight-lightsabers in hand, my friends and I joined the throng of Star Wars fans waiting for their chance to win fame, honor, and glory.The battle was supposed to start at 9:00, but we were antsy to put our lightsabers to good use. My friends and I began dueling, only to be attacked by a 7-year-old boy and his sister...who proceeded to kick our butts. Those tiny little arms can swing FAST! With an amazing amount of speed and precision, the boy battled my friend until he got bored and announced, "Okay, seriously, you've got to be dead now!" Then he ran off to "find a better challenge."

Needless to say, this was an un-epic way to begin our quest for Jedi fame and glory.

But still! We pressed on, finally joining the throng of adults bashing each other with their plastic weapons. It was hectic. Imagine a mosh pit. Then imagine everyone in that mosh pit armed with a lightsaber. That is basically what it was: hundreds of sweaty nerds dressed as sith lords, swinging their swords in the air and shouting any nerdy phrase that came to mind. Shouts of "For the Halflings!" "Star Trek!" and "For Narnia! And for Aslan!" rang through the air, intermingled with repetitions of the Jedi Song (for those of you who don't know, the words are "Jedi, jedi, jedi, je-di, je-e-di"). Everyone was pushing in every direction, which resulted in multiple tramplings (myself included).

At one point, the fighting paused for a moment. A Jedi next to me stopped, looked around, yelled "Screw that!" and made a running leap at the crowd with his lightsaber. The battle resumed.

Forty-five sweaty minutes later, my friends and I were preparing to leave when the little boy came up again and started hitting us with his sword. Then he looked up at my friend, said, "Wait, didn't I kill you earlier?" and ran away.

Needless to say, we can't wait to go back next year. And hopefully by then, we'll have honed our skills to the point that we can defeat elementary school kids.

Have you ever been in a lightsaber battle?!

Related Post: How to Fix Star Wars

Topics: Life
Tags: nerds, star wars, fights, dorks, new york city, being epic, lightsabers, battles

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About the Author
Jennifer Grudziecki

Jennifer Grudziecki is a writer, intern, and soon-to-be college graduate living in New York City. Her life goal is to be a space pirate, and maybe to write a book along the way. Follow her on Twitter @JennyGrudzy or on Tumblr at

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