Auntie SparkNotes: The Crushy Mea Culpa

Dear Auntie Sparknotes,

I'm going to summarize everything in point form because it's easier and shorter.

- I went to camp for six weeks this summer, and met a guy (who shall be known as John). We hung out on the first day, but only occasionally after that. I thought he was pretty cool.

- Partway through camp was John's birthday. That day my roommate asked me to name a guy from our camp that I would date. I said no one, and she told me she thought I would say John, because I had been "paying him special attention" that day.
- Earlier that day I was in a group with John and one of the other guys suggested John and I pair up for a certain task. John proceeded to shove the other guy, and they had a short shoving fight.
- The next day when I got into the line at breakfast the guy that made the comment the day before said, "Hey look John, it's your girlfriend." The other guys laughed, and John said "I'm going to kill you guys, very, very, soon."
- After dinner that night one of the guys turned to me and asked "[my name], do you like John?" My brain went into what-the-heck mode, and I replied "No" in a (very) not very nice tone (directed at the guy who asked the question). It wasn't until I said it that I realized that John was sitting beside the guy that asked the question and probably heard the whole thing.
- Over the next few days I thought about it, and realized I actually did like John. I was prepared to talk to him about it, but I just couldn't get him alone (freaking impossible I tell you).
- Things were really awkward between us after that, and he seemed to mope about (very out of character).
- We basically didn't talk at all after all that happened; we didn't even say goodbye to each other on the last day.
- I thought maybe the reason for the stuff that happened could have been that a) John defended me when he was talking with the other guys which caused them to think he liked me, b) they were teasing him because they saw signs of me liking him before I realized that I did, or c) he actually liked me.

My questions :
-Should I bring anything up the next time I see him (which will either be at the end of December in a dance/ball setting OR next weekend), or just forget about it given that so much time has passed and he might have moved on?

-How should I bring up the subject, and/or get over the awkwardness that surrounded us during the later part of camp? I'd like to remain friends with him and be able to talk like we did when we first met, and I'd at least like to apologize for the tone I used before, but if that would just make things awkward then I won't. I've been trying to get over him, but my school has no crushable guys so I have no one to distract myself with.

Hey, I like bullet points too! So, without further ado:

- He likes you.
- He likes you.
- GURL OHMIGAWD HE LIIIIIIIKES YOU.

And for the record, any time a guy's friends make a comment implying that he's crushing on you, and said guy returns said comment by getting into a shoving match? Um, yeah—let's just say that he might as well be running across the lawn in his underpants holding a giant, hand-painted sign that says, "I LIKE YOU."

So the good news here is that he, y'know, likes you. The bad news: I'm guessing you really, reeeally hurt his poor little dude-heart when you claimed not to return his feelings. And that's why your next move is to make amends, sooner rather than later, and preferably do it in a way that leaves no room for doubt. A requited crush is a wonderful thing; even if you don't end up dating, you both deserve to get that warm, fuzzy feeling from knowing that someone you dig also digs you. And while it'll take a bit of nerve to put yourself out there like that, it really shouldn't be too hard—since, after all, this is one of those lovely and all-too-rare circumstances in which you're confessing your crush with full knowledge that the other person likes you back.

The only caveat: you've got to confess soon, since your window of opportunity won't be open much longer. So, without further ado, let me walk you through the art of Apologetic Crush Confessing.

1. Get in touch with him today. I mean, today. Right now. Don't wait.
2. Tell him you've been thinking about him and want to talk to him about something. (This gives him a chance to adjust his expectations in the direction of Happy and Hopeful, and makes it less likely that you'll get an icy reception.)
3. Take a deep breath, yank up your confidence pants, and say (or text, or whatever), "I realize I may have missed my chance here, but I just wanted you to know: remember at camp when your friend asked if I liked you, and I said no? Well... I lied."
4. Assuming that John responds by confessing his own feelings, make immediate plans to make out.

Will this be scary? Well, yes. And of course, because there's no such thing as a sure thing, I can't 100% guarantee that it'll go as planned. But this sort of charming, disarming mea culpa is a move that everyone should have in their repertoire—it's classy, it's cute, and if there were ever a time that it was guaranteed to work, this would be it. Even if he has lingering hard feelings over the way things played out at camp, your willingness to be honest and vulnerable will more than make up for it.

Have you ever owned up to a crush? Tell us in the comments! And to get advice from Auntie, email her at advice@sparknotes.com.

Related post: Auntie SparkNotes: Claiming Your Crush