Music Appreciation Class with Your Favorite Mankler!

Today is Metalhead865's 17th birthday—Happy Birthday to one of the coolest Manklers we know!—Sparkitors

Morning, class! Welcome to Music Appreciation with me, Metalhead865. Push that button on the side of your desks to activate the holographic textbook, would you? (Yes, we do have holographic textbooks.) Now turn to page three hundred and ninety-four. (Said with a British accent.) We're about to start Chapter 17: Five Bands that Deserve Appreciation, but Never Received It. Let's get started, shall we?

Section I: Sleigh Bells
Case Study: Infinity Guitars

Sleigh Bells is a guy and a girl who make loud music. Some call it noisepop. Others call it dance punk. Me and Chester Bennington from Linkin Park call it cheercore. Sleigh Bells music is like cheerleader chants with stomps, handclaps, banging drums, electronic bleeps, and huge guitar stings in the background. In our case study today, singer (and shouter) Alexis Krauss sings (and shouts) rhythmically over a stomp, clap, and tambourine drumbeat while guitarist Derek Miller chunks on his heavy metal guitar. The end result ends up sounding like the SparkLife Academy cheerleading squad. You can expect them to lead the Sparkleball and Quidditch spectators this year in cheers like, "Deaf chords, dead ends! Sling set can't meet the demands! Devil horns, best friends! Infinity guitars, go 'head, ahh-ahh-ahh."

Homework: Listen to Tell 'Em by the same band and ROCK THE FREAK OUT.

Section II: Heath McNease
Case Study: Nintendo Thumb

I'm suggesting that the (very small) Video Game Appreciation class here at SLA use this particular song as their theme song this year. Heath McNease is a rapper who a lot of people haven't heard of, which is a shame, because this man is a sick nasty awesome rapper. He beats all the junk you hear on Top 40 by a long shot. Nintendo Thumb is Heath's ode to the original classic NES, and it's done in classic McNease style; super-fast flow, clever rhymes, and a ton of humor. "Kung Fu guru, 8-bit Mega Man, malevolent manic competitor, I'm a veteran at it, if you know better than that then sit down and go practice, 'oh he's the baddest!' thanks, Mom, aren't you glad to know your son's the bomb at something, it's better than nothing, at least it ain't Dragons and Dungeons." Do you hear that, VGA class? This should be any gamer's (or rapper's, for that matter) anthem.

Homework: Hit up heathmcnease.bandcamp.com and download his free Straight Outta Console mixtape—more game-style rap goodness.

Section III: Coldplay
Case Study: Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall

Coldplay gets classified as an "alternative" band, but they're so much more. Elements of almost every genre show up in the music of these British bad boys, from rock to pop to classical to orchestral to dance and back to rock again, even in the same song sometimes. In our case study, Coldplay's brand new single ETIAW is a major step forward for the band, suggesting a brighter outlook with the more upbeat and dancy style of this particular track. Guitars, clavichords, raging drums, and soaring vocals make this song perfect to both wake up to and to cool down to. Which is why I'm requesting that we use this song for both the beginning and end-of-school bells.

Homework: Watch the video for this song and just try to tell me it's not the awesomest thing you've ever seen.

Section IV: The Prodigy
Case Study: Invaders Must Die

The UK is home to a TON of amazing musicians, and The Prodigy is definitely no exception. Two guys—Liam Howlett and Maxim—make some epic rave dance music designed to get you off your butt and on your feet. The Prodigy's latest album Invaders Must Die is a slamming combo of explosive beats, blasting samples, and some extremely addictive electro sounds. You may have heard the title track in various 2010 movie trailers, but it's best on its own with its mix of dance, punk, and electronic voices. IMD should totally be a staple at SLA school dances this year.

Homework: Find me somewhere I can get the album for less than twenty bucks. That's the problem with listening to foreign music.

Section V: Jonezetta
Case Study: Welcome Home

Jonezetta popped up in 2006, released two albums, and then disappeared. No one knows what happened to them, but their first album is still one of the best EVER, no kidding. Jonezetta's debut, Popularity, is like the Killers, but way more fun. Welcome Home is everything Jonezetta is known for—fun guitar parts, dance-y drums, and a ton of electro effects. "Does it feel like home? Will I ever know when it feels like home?" sings Rob Chisholm as the band plays on. Sure, other people may call themselves Party Rock, but Jonezetta is the epitome of that term. This one should be a school dance staple, too.

Extra credit: Find Jonezetta and tell them to get back together. I miss them.

*Bell rings* Thank you guys so much! Remember, your Hit List and Playlist of the Day projects are due in three days, so get them done! See you at the Quidditch match tonight!

We feel like we just took the master class in all things music. Do you agree with Metalhead's choices? Even if you don't, you better wish him a happy birthday, or we will put your butt in detention SO fast.

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