crimsonandclover23 doesn't want you to fear your awkwardness—she wants you to give it a giant, rib-crushing bear hug.—Sparkitors
Hello, class! Welcome to Awkward Situations 101 here at the illustrious SparkLife Academy. I, crimsonandclover23, am your teacher, but you may call me crimson, clover, or “that weird girl who won’t stop talking about Joan Jett.”
For those of you looking for a way to hide your awkwardness, this is not the class for you. I would show you the door, but right now I cannot seem to get myself properly out of the doorway without ominous scraping sounds being emitted from my wheelchair. You see, reveling in one’s awkwardness is distinctly similar to rolling around in the loam. It’s a natural occurrence, and it can often happen when putting on tight jeans.
Being the benevolent (VOCAB WORD) teacher that I am, I have taken the liberty of providing several awkward situations that you may find yourself in, along with several you probably will not, unless you’re me. Hi, me! Did you remember to stop procrastinating on SparkLife and study for that chemistry test? No?? You’re useless.
In a moment I will be passing out the class syllabus, but right now let me stress that this is an interactive class and your participation is mandatory. Don’t worry about feeling awkward; that’s what this class is for! Now, if you'll turn to page eleventy-seven in your syllabus, you will see the different types of awkward situations that we will cover this year. These include:
When You Answer a Rhetorical Question In Class
When You Cannot Open Your Graphing Calculator and Once You Do Get it Open. You Cannot Find the “On” Button
When You Sing Badly In Front of Your English Class Because Your Teacher Told You To, But She Was Being Sarcastic
When You Swear In Front of Your Grandma
When You Correct a Teacher
When You Make a Reference That No One Understands-
-And, my personal favorite-
When You Start Laughing Randomly to Yourself
Mastering how to revel in the awkwardness of these and many other awkward situations can give some HUGE confidence pants, so wear them proudly, Sparklers, and don’t forget to bring an extra pair to class tomorrow. You’ll need them, trust me.
We wish SO much that this was a real class. We really want to know how to embrace the awkward, don't you?
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