Your Homework is Eating and Ridicule

When it comes time to select your classes at SparkLife Academy, you may find it helpful to peruse the course list, which our house-elf has been so kind as to chisel on stone tablets for us. Unfortunately, these lists are housed on-campus at Darren Criss Library, between the Harry Potter stacks and the Cabinet of Dan Bergstein Curiosities. So allow me to point out here two classes you are sure not to want to miss. Incidentally, they are taught by yours truly.

SAND 101 Sandwich Making

A study in sandwich-making, this course will focus not only on the traditional lunch dish, but also on contemporary iterations, including the panini, the pita pocket, and the wrap. Students compare, examine, and analyze bread choices, ranging from rye to croissants, and research sandwich stuffings with an eye to practical application. Intensive attention will be given to condiments, and there will be a special module on meat selection. Guest speakers will include Jimmy John, Dr. Sammy Schlotzky, and the banh mi guy at the Vietnamese deli down the street from me. Students will be graded on toasting ability, stacking methods, use of mustard, and ingredient selection, and will be required to make me lunch every day. (Credit: no, cash only.) Professor Williams

SARC 352 Advanced Sarcasm

This continuation of SARC 252 focuses on further study of the art of sarcasm through both assigned and independent projects executed in new and traditional formats. Students will learn the difference between being sarcastic, snarky, contemptuous, and simply ironic. The history of sarcasm will be studied through the prism of stand-up comedy and blogging. A great deal of attention will be given to the fine line between funny and offensive. Students will write a term paper on word choice and tone of voice. Instruction is provided through group "discussion" and individual mockery. Prerequisite: SARC 252, BLOG 216, or a letter of recommendation from Auntie SparkNotes. (Credit: all mine.) Professor Williams

Anyone want Kathryn to sign a course-change form for them?

Related post: Upcoming Events at SparkLife Academy!