How to Act on a First Date

OrangeMaiden is here to offer us her dating wisdom...or at least warn us with Dating Horror Stories! —Sparkitors

In a world where first dates are often incredibly awkward (especially when your friend shows up and mentions you have a stuffed animal collection), it can be helpful to get some guidance from a person who has lived through everything that could possibly go wrong on a date. Here are some pointers:

1. Keep your friends away from your date! They mean well, but what is just a funny story to them could prove incredibly creepy to your Potential Significant Other (PSO). Or, they could just forget that dates are for TWO people, not three; if you're not careful, a friend might stay with you and your PSO your entire date...and then it's not really a date.

2. Go for a casual date! A casual date, such as grabbing coffee, ice cream, leprechauns, or frozen yogurt, is great because it only lasts an hour or so. If the date is going well, you leave your PSO wanting more. If it’s going badly, then you can get the heck out of there! Also, it restricts your options to relatively mess-free foods (which is good if you don't want your date to think you grew up without the joy of common etiquette).

3) Be careful what you order. Yes, foods like corn and barbecue are delicious, but the kernels get stuck in your teeth and the BBQ gets stuck on your FACE. You have to be careful to eat food that won't scare your date away. For instance, I love spicy Italian food. But do you know what makes your breath smell bad? Spicy Italian food. So make like the soldiers on Demon’s Run after the Doctor arrives and RUN AWAY!

4) Be careful what you say. Plan in advance a few stories you’ll tell if things get awkward. Make sure those stories are at least somewhat flattering, or you could wind up in this situation: on one date I had, things were getting really awkward, so I started talking about how I used to steal this boy (who I a crush on)'s pencil to make him really upset. Then I would lie about it to the teacher so that she would get mad at him.  Walking away, I realized that I just made myself look like a terrible person who kicks puppies for fun. The lesson here? How you used to bully boys you liked is never a good topic of conversation on a first date.

5) At the same time, be yourself. Sure, talking about stealing pencils and making boys cry is a bad idea. At the same time, don’t be dishonest about who you are. If you tell him you are great at skateboarding, but have actually never been on a board, chances are he will say, “Oh great, I have a skateboard right here in my backpack, show me something!” And then you will look like a fool. Don’t try to look like someone you’re not, because why would you want to date someone who wouldn’t want to date the real you?

If you follow these guidelines, your first dates will be much less awkward... And don’t worry—BBQ is totally on the menu for the second date.

Have you ever been on an incredibly awkward first date?

Related post: My Not-Great First Date