You Know You're a Figure Skater When...
It's 85 degrees in NY today; we wish we were cruising around an ice rink with Isk8jen instead of sweating onto our keyboards.—Sparkitors
I've skated for years, so I'm something of an expert on this topic. You know you're a figure skater when...
-The rink is like your second home.
-Your fellow skaters and their moms all feel like they're your aunts and cousins.
-There's more drama going on in your skating club than at the average high school.
-You call all the coaches, and the people that work for the rink, by their first names.
-You know of a bajillion skaters who have had to quit because of the absurd price for skate time. (We're talking $10 an hour here, peeps, and most skaters are skating around five times a week!)
-You know some of the worst injuries occur when you're just standing against the boards.
-You hear at least three fights break out per day over whose turn it is to play their program music.
-You know to never eat anything from the snackbar that isn't pre-packaged.
-You know that being "novice level" is actually quite good (assuming you're testing with USFSA).
-You also know that "intermediate level" comes before novice, and yet you think nothing of it.
-You know more about the health status of your rink than the health inspector (let me tell you, it's not pretty).
-Your figure skates cost more than a round-trip plane ticket for anywhere in the continental US. (*Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say all skaters are super rich. Some are, but others, like me, nearly have a heart attack when they see the price tag of their next pair of skates.)
-96% of your fellow skaters wear Chloe Noel practice pants, and have Zuca bags.
-You know plenty of skaters with bronchitis.
-You dread having to take your skating tests every few months. Having things be so quiet that you can hear a pin drop does NOT help skaters concentrate, it just makes them nervous!
-You've overheard more than 47 conversations about how skater moms glued jewels to their daughter's costumes.
-You look forward to the days when it rains and you get to hear the water pattering against the metal roof.
-You've ingested a frightening amount of glitter hairspray.
-You know that figure skating is a sport. (Disagree? You can take it up with the football size bruise on my back, thank you very much.)
We've always thought ice skating seemed impossibly hard. Bonus fact: Michelle Kwan went to our college and she was LOVELY. Do you skate, or do you mostly just use your butt to propel yourself across the ice?
Related post: What the Heck is Synchronized Skating?!