Whether you're a total gourmand or your mouth waters when you hear a can opener, your favorite cuisine may be the key to decoding your personality, your mystique, and dare we say it, YOUR SOUUUUUUL. (Did you like the echo effects on that one? We did, too.) What do your dinner choices tell the outside world about the inner you? Use our guide to find out.
Brazilian: You're a high-powered high-roller with high hair and ego to spare. What's that? Did you just burp? The rest of the world heard it as an investment tip, and you're only in 10th grade. We'll get back to you in two weeks—that is, when you've made your first gigagillion.
Jamaican: What's up, Jekyll and Hyde? Are you the meek, studious Mathlete or the super-aggro field-hockey fullback? Or are you parts of both? Until you figure it out, maybe you should wear a mood ring or a collar with a bell or something.
Japanese: Somehow, it's like you're constantly on a hammock in Tahiti, and when everyone else is freaking, you're all, "*tilts sunglasses down for a second* Oh, yeah. I got it covered. *tilts glasses back, resumes drinking virgin colada*"
Italian: You're a person of mystery, and thankfully, we're not talking about this guy. What's that secret you're holding back? Are you really even in the marching band? We have the distinct feeling that we knew something about you, but then there was a bright flash of light, and we suddenly forgot it. Weird.
Chinese: Perma-red nose? Check. Constant sniffle? Yep. Perpetual rash/cough/nail fungus/oxygen allergy? That's you. We hope you feel better...someday.
Greek: You're sunny, bright, and happy as a Lite Brite. (Like, a really super-charged one!) You make everyone in the room bounce a little bit, and these are the kinds of things that happen when you're around. Congrats on the winning-at-life thing!
Mexican: If we wanted to go see a giraffe give a lecture on platonic solids in the middle of a glow stick dance-off, you would be the person to make that happen. We deeply, deeply enjoy that about you.
Polish: Hey, Miss Manners! We really liked your thank-you card, even though it was for a thank-you card we gave you for an earlier thank-you card. But your politeness is still very much appreciated.
Russian: Relaaaaaax, bro. If you jump every time someone breathes, you're going to tucker out awfully fast.
Diner: Hey! Wanna be our best friend? Cool. Cool.
Indian: Can we please come to your party? You throw the best parties!
Bear Grylls: Okay, Captain Deathwish. Enough with eating sheep you found in a bog and drinking your own pee. Everyone's grossed out, so please shower before you call us. We can smell your adventure, like, through the phone.
So? Is Rachel's guide accurate?
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