High school was pretty good for me, but five days and events stick out in my mind and haunt my life. First up: The day I had the wind knocked out of me. In my sophomore year, I was placed in the worst gym glass of all time, a class made up of the oldest, toughest, meanest brutes in the world. We had to play floor hockey, and each class was a nightmare. The hulks didn’t even care about scoring. If the ball was anywhere near you, that was the go-code for violence. During one class, a kid broke his ankle. BROKE IT! And the gym teacher literally dragged him to the corner and made us keep playing. That same day, I had the wind knocked out of me by one of the thugs (named Whoop). I went down hard and blacked out. This event was made worse by the fact that a girl I liked witnessed everything…and laughed. I was shoved against the wall until I came to. Or maybe I’m still blacked out, lying on the gym floor. What year is it?