The Perks and Perils of Being Pale

MyNicknameIsMyUsername comes out of the white-as-a-sheet closet, and never looks back. –Sparkitors

I am pale. Deathly, glow-in-the-dark, transparent pale. And I love it! Of course, I didn’t always embrace my fair skin. When I was younger I LOATHED it, and every time summer came around I would stare in envy at the girls who could achieve a golden tan. I thought of how much better I would look with my freckles and veins were hidden under sun-kissed skin, and I slathered on self-tanners in an attempt to achieve this oh-so-natural-I-just-spent-a-day-at-the-beach look. (Don’t try this at home kids. You will end up with streaky white and orange limbs.) But in the end I remained fair-skinned, silver rather than bronze. And now that we're deep into summer, I wanted to share the pros and cons of fluorescently fair skin.

The Perks of Being Pale:

• Tanning leads to wrinkles. Therefore, the paler you are, the fewer wrinkles you’ll have!

• Those with very pale skin can pull off any hair color and make it look natural! That includes such extreme colors as platinum blonde, black, and red.

• You can also pull off any color of clothing, because nothing clashes with white!

• With fair skin you're one step closer to achieving the beauty ideal of Elizabethan times...without having to smear lead paint all over your face.

• Last but not least: If you ever get lost in the wilderness, your glow-in-the-dark abilities will be very useful in getting yourself a) spotted by passing airplanes and b) attacked by bugs that are attracted to light.

The Perils of Being Pale:

• You can’t find concealer light enough for your skin. True story: I’ve been told that I have to mix white foundation into my regular makeup in order to make it match my skin tone.

• Sunburns. All you fair-skinned Sparklers know what I’m talking about. Another true story: I got a lobster-red sunburn a few years back and was confined to the couch for the length of our family vacation.

• The dreaded pimples. Yes, the ones that look like mini volcanic eruptions on your face and come complete with redness, bruising, and veins. They show up way more on fair skin.

Now that I've embraced my pallor, I'm never looking back, and I hope all of you do the same with your own skin color. And please, for the love of all that is SparkNotes, use sunscreen!

What are your own skin perks and perils?

Related post: The Best Skin Goops and Glops

Wanna write for SparkLife? Read this first!