LadyM offers some wise (and kind of terrifying) advice to incoming freshmen.—Sparkitors
With 8th graders preparing for graduation, they’re bound to be thinking about their glamorized start in high school. They expect to enter the storybook world of teen queens and fabulous parties. However, they need to learn that as “Niners,” they will be hated by the entire school.
Here is a list of things that every new high school student should know to prepare themselves and be generally less irritating.
Announcements: Show some respect. Stand for the national anthem. I can’t think of one thing that you need that say that can’t wait five minutes. Some of us need to hear the little voice on the intercom summoning us to our chess club meeting at 12:34.
Between Classes: Grade Nine girls are particularly notorious for taking up the entire hallway by clustering to talk to their friends. Please. Some of us are trying to be on time for class, and would appreciate it if you could leave us a small open portion of the hallway so that we can actually (heaven forbid) walk in it.
Cliques: Meh. Who needs ‘em? Be a nomad, wander from place to place. It’s hard to have friends from different groups, especially if they’re not “friendly” groups. Have a couple of BEST friends, who you can trust with anything, and then a circle of wonderful people who enjoy your company and have all sorts of different interests. That way you’re not stuck when your Drama Club can’t help you with your Calculus homework.
Detention: If you have even an ounce of self-control, it’s pretty easy to keep out of detention. Do your homework. Go to class. Be polite. It’s not as difficult as some people make it seem.
Extra-curriculars: Get involved! Find a couple of things that you love doing. Then, lift the school club out of its obscure and disorganized state, and make it something you can actually be proud of. It’s in these clubs that you make the peer and teacher connections that will get you through tough times. You also learn about leadership… and it looks great on a resume.
Facebook: Facebook is a great way to organize get-togethers and group projects. My friends and I have written 1000s of messages venting about a particularly brutal class. But, what do you want the world to see? If you don’t want the principal finding it, don’t publish it (the internet is NOT private). "This is me drinking my 20th beer and throwing up. This is me throwing up again. This is me drunk at a party and throwing up..." Yeah, these photos are there. Forever.
Group Projects: I actually do not recommend working with friends. Although it’s tempting to spend more time with people you like, conversation tends to drift away from the History of the Electric Toaster to who hooked up with whom at the last dance. Be tactful, but don’t let your group members do poor quality work. It’s your grade too, even if you’re smarter than they are.
History Class: It’s all good if you’re lucky enough to land a teacher who actually attempts to cover the curriculum. However, it’s likely you’ll just sit in class and watch movies such as Charlie Bartlett and Mean Girls (great movies, but not entirely historical). Your teacher will often see it fit to catch up on sleep during class. Or maybe that was just mine. At any rate, I recommend bringing a good book.
Initiation: Don't sweat it—hazing is pretty non-existent. Worst case scenario, you go to 4th period covered in pudding. (Bonus: You won’t have to worry if you get hungry later)
Juicy Gossip: All of your teachers will preach the same message: “Gossip is bad. Don’t spread rumors.” I say that this is quite the load of crap. If it weren’t for those teenage scandals, why even bother going to school? So, accept that what you hear may not be true, and (excepting malicious intent) pass it on!*
*Or not.
Keeners: It’s one thing to like to go to class, and to raise your hand when you know the answer. But it’s another when you formulate questions with the sole purpose of showing everybody how much you know. We know what you’re doing. It’s annoying. We also know when you’re using words that you don’t understand.
Lunchtime: Unless you enjoy food that bites back, avoid the caf at all costs. The food tastes terrible and is bad for your health and pocketbook. The caf is loud and crowded, so eat in the hallway if your school allows it. I like to go to the park. And Starbucks. (Oh, the joys of a downtown school…)
Mornings: High school starts early… too early (especially if you have a morning practice, such as music (also an M word)). So take a hot shower, make up your face, and then buck up. Smile and pretend that you actually want to be in math at 8:15 AM. There’s nothing like a riveting lesson on the properties of right triangles to keep you from falling asleep in class…
“Not-Quite” Teachers: I'd rather sit around in my room chewing tinfoil and shaving my head with a cheese grater than be stuck with a bad substitute student teacher (particularly brutal in language classes). There’s not a whole lot you can do about this, but it is excellent practice for sleeping with your eyes open. However, when you have a good one, make sure you let them know. It must be difficult to teach when the entire class is sleeping with their eyes open.
Overheads: Overheads… not exclusive to high school by any means, but brutal enough to get mention. I have teachers who print their lessons on overheads. As if their barely-legible penmanship wasn’t enough, this now obsolete technology is rarely focused and often entirely dysfunctional. Class time is often surrendered to searching for new light bulbs.
Physics (pronounced: Phy-sucks): Nobody likes physics.. well, almost nobody. It’s pointless and boring. If you are one of the few people who do like physics, than you are a much more patient person than me. Complain about this subject with your friends at every possible opportunity. Then print this out and give it to your teacher.
Quizzes (Pop): There is nothing like a surprise quiz to make a good day turn bad or a bad day turn worse. I find that teachers only enjoy giving these quizzes to make sure that you’ve done the homework. So do the homework, and you should be OK. (Sucking up a little bit never hurts either.)
Reproductive Education: This is always a fun class. However, some teachers don’t appreciate inevitable snickers whenever they mention certain parts of the anatomy. Avoid eye contact.
Security: There is great fun to be had in school during Code Red, Yellow, and Fire Drills. The staff takes these very seriously. Teachers will waste hours answering inane —albeit amusing —“what if” questions, e.g. “What do we do if they release Anthrax into the venting system?" More class time can be missed during the drills themselves; whether you get a few minutes of fresh air or huddling in a dark corner with your class mates, speculation over potential disasters is infinitely more exciting than learning how to conjugate the French verb “etre” backwards.
Technology: Be careful when bringing gadgets to class. Most teachers will not let you bring your iPhone or Blackberry unless their own cell phone is getting old or their teenage child has an upcoming birthday. MP3s are often allowed, but not recommended. I prefer to save my tech for after class. I’m not willing to give up my laptop to somebody who I don’t even like.
Unlocked: is not how you should leave your stuff. If you trust your classmates, you are living in a chimerical kingdom full of naïveties. Students steal things that they want and can’t afford. So think twice before showing off your new iPod Touch in the locker room and then leaving your gym bag unattended for 75 minutes.
Voting: Elections for student council is one of the most eventful times of the year. You get to read the ridiculous posters on the wall. Your peers will awkwardly solicit you for your vote, and if you’re lucky, you will get to see somebody look really stupid during campaign speeches. Just remember, the future of the school depends on you. Vote wisely. Yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. In all honesty, student government is a fun club with some cool people, but beyond planning dances and bake sales, not a lot happens. Especially not since the principle banned raffles because he didn’t want the students gambling.
Weird People: Leaving elementary school behind means moving up in the world. High school means meeting many more people. Meeting many more people means meeting many more weird people. Be ready to chuckle at the blatant attention seekers, those who thrive at making themselves look like idiots, the teachers who give off “creepy” vibes, and the people who lack all social graces.
Xiphiidae: What does this have to do with school? Sometimes you get words like this in lessons and teachers tell you to add them to your ever-growing vocabulary. How many words are there that actually start with the letter X? (That was rhetorical. There are 137). None of them are particularly school related, and this one looks nifty with all of the “i”s. Yes, it’s real!
Year-End: Despite what certain Alice Cooper Band songs mightmlead you to believe, this is a particularly stressful time. Teachers scramble to squeeze in all of the assignments they are running out of time for (more homework). And the last day of classes only means that the impending exams loom just around the corner.
Zzzzz… 75 minute core subjects periods. Every single day. Need I say more?
So, soon-to-be-froshies, are you terrified or excited? Anyone else got advice for the "Niners"?
Related post: Dan Bergstein's Guide to Freshman Year
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