If You Won't Date Me, I Won't Be Your Friend

After a brief hiatus, Talie Queen of Drama is BACK to fill you in on her latest gossip. —Sparkitors

Hi. My name is Talie and, well, I used to be on this boy diet thing and then summer came so I decided to end it. You know,  just in case some super cute guy caught my eye or something. GOOD IDEA, TALIE.

That was just a re-cap, because most of you guys have probably forgotten about me since it's been FOREVER since I posted anything exciting.

But, boy, do I have something for you.

SOMETHING. FOR. YOU.

So I'm pretty sure that the last thing you guys heard about Mr. Hand Holder was that I haven't talked to him a ridiculously long time because he was not only slightly creepy, but also extremely clingy. He wouldn't start texting me, Facebook chatting me, etc. And, as much as I hate to say it, I WANTED TO SHOOT SOMEONE IN THE FACE. I needed to tell him that I needed space, but gently, because he's rather delicate and I really really don't like making people sad.

So I did tell him, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but right after I told him that I needed space he texted me and was all "So what's the possibility of us being a thing?" Which annoyed me greatly, because HELLO I told him that I needed space. DUHHH. So I basically told him that there was no way that I'd ever be his girlfriend (but i said it nicer, trust me). Finally he got the hint.

Okay. So now we're done with Traveling with Talie Through the Ages. So let's get down to the nitty gritty.

Basically, I'm thinking that I might as well have just stayed on the boy diet, because it seems like I have this anti-boy bubble around me that deflects any boys that try to come my way. If I was on the boy diet, at least I would've had an excuse for my non-boy status here. It's really getting kinda sad.

But anyway. In the time that me and Mr. Hand Holder were on a "break" or "not seeing each other marathon" or, for me, an "avoid Mr. Hand Holder at all costs extravaganza," Mr. Hand Holder went to orientation for his college and came back with.... a girlfriend!!!!

A GIRLFRIEND.

Well, it didn't happen that fast. And I know the whole story, due to the fact that I basically had to drag it out of him.

This is how it happened:

I was innocently creeping on a certain former crush (ehem, Drummer Boy) on Facebook (HE DELETED HIS FACEBOOK!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING NOW????) when I noticed a little something. Mr. Hand Holder is in a relationship with ______________.

So of course I practically fall out of my chair in shock. Because it was only a month ago when he proclaimed his love for me. My first thought: "YES YES YES he finally has a distraction!!!" My second thought: "Dang the boy moves on faster than ravage children chasing a ice-cream truck in July." My third thought: "HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?"

Then I went on Facebook chat, praying to the god of awkward ex-flings that he'd be on. Luckily, he was.

Talie: Hey!
Mr. HH: Hey, Talie! how are you?
Talie: I'm good. Anything excited happen recently? (note the subtly)
Mr. HH: Not really. Just packing for college. You?
Talie: Eh, just work.
Mr. HH: How's that going?
Talie: Good. Too bad nothing exciting has happened in your life recently (that's exactly what I said. No subtly there.)
Mr. HH: Oh, I'm seeing this girl that I met at orientation.

At this point, I was doing an intense victory dance. We finally got down to the nitty gritty. Mr. Hand Holder continued to tell me that he met this chick at orientation and that they spent the whole entire time together. And apparently they've been Skyping this whole entire month and they finally got together officially.

I thought the whole thing was kind of weird, but I still said that I was happy for him, blah blah blah. But then he said every time he found out something new about his girlfriend it was like getting a present...

Okay, I just thought it was weird.

Unfortunately, its going to be super awkward with him pretty much whenever I see him, because its becoming more obvious that he just wanted to be in a relationship with me. And when I said no, he was just like "Oh, well she can't be my girlfriend so we obviously can't be friends." Which is lame, because we could've been good friends.

GAH I still have to give his books back, which means that I have to see him again, which means even more awkwardness for Talie. Woo-freakin-hoo.

Talie :)

Have you ever been asked out by someone who wouldn't be your friend when you turned him/her down?

Related posts: Blogging my Boy Diet