When he saw last week's prompt, Shakespeare was all, "I'm the BARD, beezies. COME AT ME." And then his pompous butt got royally owned—because you were all "BOOM! I just re-wrote Romeo and Juliet in 6 minutes! Put that in your potentially plagiarized pipe and smoke it!" Once again, you've proved that Sparklers are, by and large, smarter and more talented than almost everyone else in the world (but you are also truly terrible at smack-talk). You all deserve a pat on the back, but instead you're going to get a link to this sort of creepy-looking Shakespeare movie, because it's really hard to touch people through the internet. (Try not to read too deeply into that last part.)
And now for the best of last week's glittering bunch:
Sparklers' Choice (with 24 votes): Sepia93! Here's her hilarious take on Romeo and Juliet:
My boyfriend has always been impulsive--meeting me for the first time at Homecoming and professing his love for me, asking for my hand in marriage three days later--I said no, of course.
But I'm still with him because he has such a way with words. Unfortunately, I can't hear what he's saying half the time because he decides to get his inner poet on underneath my bedroom window at three in the morning.
But back to the impulsiveness. I never really minded it because he wasn't harming himself or others. But there was this one time...
I took some Nyquil one night because I had a horrible cold. I fell asleep immediately. I guess one of my friends came barging into my room while I was still sleeping. She tried to wake me up, but I wouldn't budge.
She thought it was funny and decided to embarrass me by taking pictures and posting them all over Facebook with captions like, "She's dead...like literally!" It always bugged me that she could never use the word "literally" correctly.
My boyfriend saw these pictures on Facebook and thought my friend was serious. Thinking he could never live another day on Earth without me, he decided to take his life. With lots of painkillers.
In reality, he swallowed six Tums and fell asleep waiting for them to kick in.
I went over to his house the next day because he wouldn't answer my texts. He thought he had died and woken up in heaven. I assured him that he was still alive.
"Romeo, you have to stop being impulsive and doing what you deem right at the moment," I said. He promised.
Last night, he climbed up my trellis just to sing me an impromptu rap. He fell and broke his arm.
Dagger's Choice: crayonsWin! I hardly ever go for the 2nd-runner-up, but this story was too good to pass up!
Aww, your boyfriend forgot your six-and-a-half week anniversary? Burped in front of your parents? Arrived late to brunch?
Cry me a river.
My boyfriend killed my dad. Yeah, you heard me. My boyfriend freakin' killed my freakin' father.
Seriously, he used to be smokin' hot. He was all artsy and intellectual and stuff, and he practically invented the smoldering gaze.
But then, of course, his dad died and instead of getting into photography or writing some angsty poetry, he went nutso. One minute we're making out and the next he's like, trying to jump off a bridge or something. Or, y'know, stabbing my dad.
So now I'm like, should I break up with him? Or demote him to friends-with-benefits? Should our relationship even exist at all? Seriously, Hamlet 'n' Ophelia: to be or not to be?
Dagger's Runners-Up:
TardisGirl
BroccoliBiatch
shyn12
lemon_101
Bexxrose
Congrats to everyone who earned a shout-out; you will almost definitely become enormously prolific playwrights who are eventually accused of stealing the work of a colleage. Awesome! Here's this week's prompt: Write a short story or poem (300 words or less) about a person who is either debating committing a crime or is in the act of breaking the law.
Writing Quote of the Week: You have to resign yourself to the fact that you waste a lot of trees before you write anything you really like, and that's just the way it is. It's like learning an instrument, you've got to be prepared for hitting wrong notes occasionally, or quite a lot, 'cause I wrote an awful lot before I wrote anything I was really happy with. And read a lot. Reading really helps. Read anything you can get your hands on.—JK Rowling
Related post: Writer Wars!
Original image taken from: http://cdn.hyperallergic.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/the-cobbe-portrait-of-william-shakespeare.jpg
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