How to Kill Time at an Office Job

SunBrightSparrow, we're definitely going to try that time stamp thing, as soon as we figure out what, exactly, a time stamp is.—Sparkitors

Like a lot of college kids, I have a job this summer to help pay my tuition. Unfortunately, my summer job doesn’t involve stereotypical summer job things like ice cream, hunky lifeguards, or even being outside. My summer job is this:

Come to office.

Sit in office chair.

Wait for boss to say there is work to do.

There is not work.

After eight hours, leave.

So I’ve become a connoisseur of all things killing-time related, while I wait for nonexistent work to come my way. Here are a few of them, which I highly suggest you try:

-Ride up and down in the elevator for no reason other than getting to lie down on the carpet floor inside when no one else is around.

-Check SparkLife obsessively every two minutes to see if there is a new post. Comment on post. Check obsessively to see if someone responded to or upvoted comment. Repeat.

-Arrange pens in drawer so that there is one of every color and kind and each is in rainbow order. Google “OCD.”

-Check Facebook.

-Walk by to see if other student worker is also on Facebook. (He is.)

-Staple things. Remove staples.

-Google every single ingredient on bottle of lotion to find out what is actually in that stuff. (I have done this. Ingredients are actually very boring.)

-Change date-stamp to read “RECEIVED NOVEMBER 15, 3091”. Stamp things and pretend to be from the future.

-Learn how to make origami money shirt.

-Search internet for weird names to be used in possible Great American Novel. (Adair! Peebles!)

-Spin in spinny chair. Spiiiiiiiiiiinnnnn…

-Put song lyrics through Google Translate until they become unrecognizable. (“You make me feel like I’m living a teenage dream” becomes “I live in a dream, Teens! I think.”)

-Create Twitter account. Feel scared of Twitter because girls whose info says “HOT VID SEXXXX” want to follow me.

-Eat all breath mints in purse due to boredom.

-Make up words and force Microsoft Word to add them to the dictionary. Ketiltefrish is now a word, everyone, though I don’t know what it means.

-Look up dates of every movie coming out for the next year and add them to planner for no reason.

-And of course, the classic: Write SparkLife articles.

What do you do to pass the time at your boring job?

Related post: 5 Jobs You Never Hear About on Career Day

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