Three weeks ago, I was lying on my couch, debating whether I should join the tennis team or not. I had a pretty good pro/con list going.
Pro: Exercise is good for your body!
Con: I eat enough during the season to negate any effects exercise might have had on my body.
Pro: I would be able to say that I belong to a tennis team that went to nationals the past 10 years in a row.
Con: I am not part of the team that goes to nationals—I only sometimes actually get to play matches.
Pro: I get to hang out with the team!
Con: I’m not actually close with any of the tennis team.
Pro: I get to arrive at campus early!
Con: Well… I can’t think of another one.
So I’m joining the tennis team again! I leave on Saturday. I’m horribly out of shape (shh… don’t tell my coach), but it’s happening. It’s embarrassing how much this decision has been affected by the fact that I get to head back to school early. I just can’t wait to get back on campus, and to see everyone’s lovely faces again. I miss all my friends a lot, of course. Funny thing is, I miss people I don’t know, too. Like that girl who always held the door for me in the mornings on the way out of my Anthropology class. I miss her. I don’t know what her name was, but I miss her. I also miss the friendly lady who worked the desk at the dining hall. She always told me to have a good night. I should have given her a hug. Also, I really miss that squirrel that used to hang around the entrance to the dorms. I liked him. I don’t think he had a name, but I liked him.
Also, (shh… don’t tell my parents) I can’t wait to get out of my parents’ town. It happens to be quite small, quite conservative, and quite boring. It’s true that you don’t need to go somewhere to have fun, but I’d like to at least have other options than Walmart and bowling. Especially when you have to calculate your score yourself. I can never remember how to do that.
I think my point is that I can’t wait to get back to school. It’s different this year than last year—instead of being terrified out of my wits that I’ll be friendless and fail my classes, I’m terrified out of my wits that by the end of the year, I will still not have a career set in stone. I realize that is a completely irrational fear—who has a career set in stone when they declare their major, anyway? But it’s just like the fear of having no friends and failing all my classes. They’re both irrational, just in opposite ways. When will I have a rational fear?
Ginger’s Song of the Week: If you’re ever in the mood to listen to some of the most beautiful classical music that has ever been written, listen to this. For your enjoyment, you also read along with the piano music! Am I the only one who likes that? Yes? Nevermind, then…