Skip over navigation

How to Be a Hippie (While Keeping a Clean Record)

How to Be a Hippie (While Keeping a Clean Record)

By Contributor

nevillyemily got the perfect plan to turn you into a low-key, law-abiding, peace-sign princess.—Sparkitors

Ever wanted to live the awesome hippie lifestyle but weren't too crazy about the pot-smoking and random nudity involved? Don't worry; you can be boho without breaking any laws (or removing any clothes)! I’ve come up with a fool-proof plan for the new school year to show your friends a new, eco-friendly, chill version of you!

* Invest in a good pair of sandals and wear them year-round (unless you live in Wisconsin, in which case: Birkenstocks)

* Have a love of all things Indian, i. e. henna, nose ring, bindi, bhangra

* Practice yoga and talk endlessly about your energy flow

* Pepper the words “chakra”, “karma,” “aura,” and “cleanse” into your every day vocabulary

* Bring a guitar to school, sit on the top of a lunch table, and strum with your eyes clothes (hippies in movies are always doing this)

* Wrinkle your nose at mainstream nonsense

* Your answer to every problem is “peace will prevail,” or simply, “Brother.....”

* Always call someone “brother” or “sister.” Your teachers may not appreciate this

* Everyday uniform: home-dyed maxi skirt, blousy recycled-material shirt, hemp bracelets, and feather earrings

* Always, always have a calm, serene half-smile (think Mona Lisa) upon your face. Note: there is a difference between this look and the constipated look

* Grow your hair out long and part it down the middle. Or just get dreadlocks.

* Get a free-trade coffee bumper sticker

* Know what free-trade coffee is

* Ride a bike to school. Vintage is best. If you have to drive a car, drive an old green beater

* Become one with the universe

* Spend a lot of time in nature. Whisper to the trees and tell people you are conversing with the spirit nymphs

* Own a compost, recycle religiously, grow your own food, and use only clay pots for cooking

* Activism is your new hobby

* Have extremely strong opinions about organic food, free-range beef, locally-grown produce, veganism, and pesticide use

* Make your political beliefs very liberal and open-minded. Remind people daily how very liberal and open-minded you are

* Convert to Buddhism! (kidding)

The most important trait to cultivate is a care-free attitude; if you only do things to please people, you’ll never find your true energy. This attitude will really help when you strap yourself to an oak tree to save it from being cut down.

Peace out, brothers!

Hippie-dom seems awesome. Can you dig it?

Related post: Mud, Garlic, and Hippies: a Tour of Weird Festivals

Topics: Life
Tags: guides, style, hippies, funny things, going green, how to, eco friendly

Write your own comment!


Write your own comment!