Remember When You Could Still Pull These Things Off? Those Were the Days

Old people say youth is wasted on the young. Young people say, "Suckahs! You smell funny." But there's no denying that being young has its unique advantages. Kids get away with everything. When aliens most definitely, positively do come to inhabit our planet, they will think that children rule the world. Just look at babies. They do whatever they want. They don't even have to get up to go to the bathroom.

The point is that slowly you begin to realize, with each passing birthday, that growing up is just a narrowing of what’s considered permissible behavior. Sure, “socially accepted norms” are what keep civilization running, but sometimes you just miss the days of being able to throw a tantrum and eat your own boogers without everybody looking at you funny. Here are a few things we wish we could still get away with:

Sleeping anywhere. That floor still looks just as comfortable as it did 16 years ago.

Telling it like it is. Our neighbor’s skin still doesn’t fit her face, whether we're allowed to tell her that or not.

Expecting birthday presents. So we're not allowed to ask guests what they got us as they enter our birthday party, even though we're still thinking it?

Burping the alphabet. We still can’t believe this isn't appropriate for a resume.

Saying the darndest things. Frankly, kissing does look like whispering into someone else's mouth.

Believing in Santa Claus. Santa always seemed to bring us more presents when we believed in him.

Running around in our birthday suit. Not only is this not cute anymore, our lawyer has informed us it’s illegal.

Telling someone "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." We still pretty much say this, just not in so few words.

Starting tickle fights. This did not go over well at our last annual physical.

Hugging strangers. Apparently after the age of four this is only acceptable at Bonnaroo and self-help meetings.

What do you wish you could still pull off?

Related Post: Finding Your Inner Little Kid