5 Easy Ways to Stay Politically Active

bricked94 has done the impossible: she's made politics FUNNY.—Sparkitors

Most Sparklers are under 18 and, therefore, under the legal voting age, also known as the age of representation (just kidding, I made that up). While it may seem hard to remain active politically with such little power and voice in government, I have carefully devised a list of ways to keep the feds on their toes by listening to the well-informed teenage population:

1. Watch The Colbert Report or The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: These two hilarious men dish the daily dose (ha, alliteration) of political stew to the comedy world with their quick wit and slightly unhinged attitudes. By watching these two, you will be kept up to date with what is going on in the white house and state governments around the country. However, if you are in favor of a more biased opinion, feel free to check out anything on Fox News.

2. Hold Secret Club Meetings: Gather your friends together by enticing them with macadamia nut cookies and peach tea and start a politics club! Make sure to make posters to hang up around the school about the injustice of the government and the total need for anarchy, even if you have no idea what any of that means. All you know is those skater kids always talk about it.

3. Petitions: When in doubt, petitions have always solved all of the major problems of government. Congress helps too. But without petitions, opinions would never be gathered on one piece of paper, which helps bring ideas together and is therefore the key to success. It will look more convincing if everyone signs in a different color sharpie.

4. Participate in Rallies for Candidates You’ve Never Heard Of: This makes you seem like you’re well-rounded as you pay attention to all candidates, not just one, and it helps you become informed on their platform. What? They support the eradication of anteaters? I should probably take this campaign button off...

5. Fight the System:“The System,” “The Man,” “The Big Guy,” whatever you want to call it—it all stands for the government. If you have opinions, especially strong/strange ones, you need to tell those politicians! Where do you think they came up with the idea of Social Security? From an intelligent man wearing nothing but a raccoon-skin hat who ran up the steps of the Lincoln Memorial screaming “It’s my money and I need it now!” (Which, coincidentally, also became the slogan for the J.G. Wentworth ads) and was then directed to the steps of the actual White House to talk to the police. However, despite his apparent failure, one member of congress heard him and proposed the idea of Social Security. And that is why you need to declare your personal opinion (while wearing a raccoon-skin hat).

If all of this fails you could just, like, watch credible news shows and read the newspaper. But who does that anymore?

NOBODY. How do you keep up with the latest political happenings?

Related post: Book Recommendations: Politics Edition