I can't BELIEVE that no one chose to re-write the greatest fairy tale of all time, Flubber. COME ON, PEOPLE. It was a Robin Williams CLASSIC—though I would have been just as a happy with sometime taking a chance and putting a modern spin on Mrs. Doubtfire. Alas, it seems you all have much more sophisticated sensibilities; your responses to last week's prompt were hilarious and heart-breaking, or hilariously heart-breaking, or heart-breakingly hilarious, or any other combination of those words you can think of.
Mad props to all y'all, with special literary shot-outs to these beezies:
Sparklers' Choice (with 20 votes): oceaneyesx3! Read her hilarious take on Rapunzel/Twilight/The Chronicles of Dan right here!
Loneliness is highly underrated. I've spent my entire life in a tower, and I turned out fine! The only thing about loneliness that sucks is, well, it gets boring. Only one good thing ever happened to me in that tower.
One day, as I was working on translating Romeo and Juliet, the only book that I had, into actual teenage English, a man appeared in my window. He had very greasy looking brown hair and his skin, well, it almost seemed to sparkle! He slid off of the window sill and came towards me.
"You are my life now. Come, we will get married at once," he informed me. Now, I might not have much experience with the other sex, but I was pretty sure that we were supposed to talk before marriage. Unfortunately for me, I didn't have much knowledge of fighting, so when he kept advancing on me, I screamed. I know, I know, damsel in distress, blah blah blah. But you had to be there! He was looking at me as if I were a plate of freshly baked meatloaf, and not a 16 year old girl!
All of the sudden, another man with a beard appeared out of nowhere. I was getting pretty annoyed at all of these guys coming out of nowhere
.
"Who the hell are YOU?" I demanded. The bearded man said that his name was Dan. Dan sounded like a reliable name. He took one look at the sparkling boy and scoffed, before picking him up and throwing him out the window. Then he noticed my translation of Romeo and Juliet.
"This is good,"he said. "Come. We are going far away."
"Where?" I asked.
"To my kingdom of Sparknotes."
And that is the story of how I was saved from Edward Cullen by Dan Bergstein.
Dagger's Choice: mishiebuttons! Her dark, unusual stepsister story was impossible to ignore!
Mum was always going out with someone.
It was hard enough while it lasted, my forgetting the current fling's name, the sad attempts of the new guy to act like he's a substitute for a father, huddling with my little sister Franchesca at night because mum didn't have the time for us anymore.
But it was nothing compared to what was in store when she finally did settle down. "He's made me a better person!" she cried once, and that was the same line she spoke at his funeral. But it wasn't true, not really. Those few months of her happiness evaporated when his heart gave out, only to be replaced by a bitterness that we didn't understand. One minute she would be on the verge of angry tears, Franchesca and me worried to death she might strike out at us, the next she would be hugging us violently, spilling tears ass over my collar, trying to hand us more money, trying to buy our tolerance. It was hard. What made it worse was that he didn't just leave us with a broken mother, he left us with his daughter, too.
Mum couldn't bear to look at her because of her uncanny resemblance to her father. I couldn't look at her because she was everything I wasn't. I was never pretty. The first boy I fell in love with had told me "maybe we'd have had a shot if you actually looked like a girl." That stung, just a little. And so now, every time that awful girl looks at me with those darling sad doe eyes of hers because mum has made her scrub the floors or something miserable, I'm so torn. What can I do for her? She's stuck, just like I am. Stuck in a world where nobody is on her side. But then Franchesca tugs on my sleeve and whispers "Mum's found the whiskey," and I look this girl in the eyes and say "Back to your scrubbing. Don't look for my pity, Cinderella."
Dagger's Runners-up:
WriterGirl13
HighOrderoftheNargles
TardisGirl
CatofManyWhiskers
BroccoliBiatch
bookmarked
JazzPanda
Ileya
Congrats to all of the literary champs! You shall surely go on to greatness, glory, and grory, which is greatness and glory combined into one gross-sounding word. If you want to win some grory of your own (who wouldn't?!), try your hand at this week's prompt, submitted by something002:
Write a story that begins in a cemetery, in a tree, or while asleep.
We're so sorry about Gary—we think he may have been eating up anything with the letter "q"! If you can't post your story, email it to me and I'll try to post it for you!
Related post: Writer Wars!
Topics: Life
Tags: writing, fiction, writers, sparkler fiction, writer wars
Post a comment!