When an 8 Becomes a 10

Talie's off her boy diet, an onto her first waitressing job! —Sparkitors

Hola, mis amigos.

Life has been like a crazy roller coaster ride that you're right in the middle of: slightly chaotic, terrifyingly exciting, but you can't quit because you're in the middle of the ride and if you jump off YOU DIE FOREVER AND EVER.

Not that I feel like I'm going to die forever and ever or anything. But you get what I'm saying here.

HOLY MOTHER my life is surprisingly busy. Sparklemcbabycakes, let me tell you something: you never realize how amazingly boring your life was until you're actually doing something productive. And, as much as I hate to admit it, watching the Glee Project, White Collar, and Covert Affairs isn't exactly "productive."

Okay. So if I were you guys, I'd get some popcorn, maybe some Red Vines, and get yourselves into a comfortable position. Because I am about to ramble. RAMBLE, I TELL YOU.

Get ready...

THE WOES OF BEING A WAITRESS

Waitressing is like a silent and unappreciated art form. No one knows how freaking hard it can be... until BAM, you're a waitress.

Ah, so naive, Talie. So naive.

Waitresses actually have a lot of pressure. Let me count the ways:

1) The waitresses have to memorize the whole friggin menu. THE. WHOLE. MENU. Including all of the the toppings included on the menu items. And, okay, yes it might be slightly kind of maybe necessary, but how can my manage expect me to be able to spew out the stuff on the menu on my 5th day? Not possible.

2) So Diet Pepsi and normal Pepsi? Yeah... they're not the same thing. Which is, unfortunately, something you learn very quickly when you're a waitress.

3) Children don't really grasp the concept of going one at a time while placing their orders. They just decide scream all their orders to you at once, not realizing that if they simply talk calmly, ONE AT A TIME, not only will we get their food out correctly but they will also save strain on their tiny little vocal chords.

4) Some people can be SO CHEAP. Its quite cruel, actually. I'm positive these people deliberately decided that, along with kicking puppy dogs, they aren't going to tip waitresses.

5) When your manager says that you're going to get off at 8, in reality, you're getting off at close, which is 10. Tragically, this interferes with VERY IMPORTANT plans that you made about a week in advance.

And, ladies and gentlemen, this brings us to the next portion of our ramble. So remember when I made plans with Mr. Hand Holder? The plan was to meet up with him after I would supposedly get off at work at 8. Unfortunately, I ended getting off at 10.

I was in a panic THE WHOLE TIME. What if he thought I was blowing him off? What if he thought I was laughing about it with my friends that very minute????

So, right when I clocked out, I dashed to my phone, ready to answer the 50 million desperate text messages I was sure would be waiting for me in my inbox.

Guess what I found?

No texts.

No missed calls.

No voicemails.

Not. A. Single. Thing.

...

Okay, so I wasn't expecting him to call 911 to report a missing person or something. But I did think he would at least text me or something. Right? RIGHT GUYS??

Well, I ended up calling him and telling him that I got off work a lot later than I originally thought I would and that I was really REALLY REALLY sorry. Oh, and that we should totes reschedule.

That was Saturday. I heard back from him on Wednesday.

WEDNESDAY.

And he didn't even text me. Oh no. That would've been waaay too dignified.

Nope. We both just happened to be on Facebook chat at the same time. So we chatted awkwardly for about five minutes until I had to leave to do stuff.

I think it's a sign from the awkward friendship gods. We're obviously not supposed to be friends.

Oh, and another sign: My job isn't exactly ideal.

At least I get money.

Talie :)

What's the worst possible summer job?

Related Post: How to Make Your Waiter/Waitress Like You