You Know You're a Brit Living in LA When...

lamf77, we're intrigued by your nickname. Is it like a "lame" BAMF? A nod to your current city? Blurg? —Sparkitors

Los Angeles is a bustling city filled with traffic, restaurants you travel in traffic to get to, smog caused partly by traffic, and people who go berserk because of all the bloody traffic. All that aside, we’ve also got some lovely places to go to, and the cheapest public transit in the country out of any major city. Which is a comforting thought as you sit on a bus for three hours to travel thirty miles. Really.

I came to LA from London, and while I prefer the latter, there are some things to be said for where I’m at now. And maybe I shouldn’t even be writing this post since I’m not from LA? But, just imagine that I’m reading this aloud and that you’ve fallen victim to my London accent. There, now everything’s just fine, right?

You know you’re from Los Angeles when...

• you have the option of thousands of different restaurants, but usually just go for In-N-Out or something of the sort.

• you live near about half a dozen In-N-Outs. (although, I have to say I prefer Five Guys. Blasphemy, I know.)

• you know that Hollywood’s boring, and that Downtown is just a place where they sell bootleg clothes and rabbits. Honestly, you know that LA as a whole can get fairly boring.

• you’ve been shot at/threatened with a weapon/mugged.

• you can go from multi-million dollar houses to tenements within a few miles.

• next to every sandwich shop is a doughnut store.

• there are like a zillion doughnut stores.

• also a-zillion-and-a-half salons/nail places.

• all those stereotypically LA things people in the movies and on vacation do? You’ve never done them.

• you can spot a tourist approximately 39.2 miles away.

• you’ve seen a celebrity, have occasionally said hello, but have more often walked by nonchalantly, while secretly wondering if you should have said hello or if that would be stupid, and whilst also congratulating yourself on your nonchalantness. Unless the celebrity is someone stupid like Miley Cyrus. Then it’s only hard to ignore her because you want to tell her how stupid she is.

• you’re well aware that the buses are stupid, and that the freeway is stupider.

• you know that the beaches are dirty, crowded, and that the water’s bloody freezing.

• you know the secret to our pretty sunsets (smog).

• you know that while not everyone is blond, tanned and afflicted with plastic surgery-ed faces, there really are some people who are.

• you know this entire list is a bit rubbish, because there are so many different experiences one can have while living here. And that’s why it’s wonderful.

What do you think of LA?

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