Have you been to the zoo? It's good, isn't it? Animals and whatnot. But you know what makes it better? Games! Inspired by this post from back in the mists of time, we've come up with the ultimate game to play at the zoo. We have absolute confidence in saying that once you play ZooPoints (ZooP for short) you will never, ever play Scrabble, or be allowed back to the zoo, ever again.
The rules are easy: just do everything on this list and award yourself the appropriate number of ZooPoints.
- Put name-tags on the goats in the petting zoo. (3 points for the first goat, then 1 point for each subsequent goat. 2 bonus points if the name-tag says this.)
- Run like a lemur up and down the food court. (1 point.)
- Stand in front of the red panda enclosure making loud comments about how they're not REAL pandas. (2 points.)
- Hide in a dark corner of the reptile house and sprinkle people with the garden hose when they're not looking. (2 points.)
- Start a game of tag with people at the gorilla habitat. Starting a game of tag with an unwilling participant goes like this: Step 1. Pat someone on the shoulder and say "tag" in a gentle voice. Step 2. Repeat until security escorts you away. (4 points.)
- Creep up behind people and shriek "MEERKAT!" (2 points. Note—this is also fun in church.)
- Tell anyone who'll listen the truth about giraffes. "They're actually a variety of cactus. Every hundred years a flower grows out the top of their heads." (4 points.)
- Steal balloons from small children. (1 point per balloon. 2 if they cry.)
- Stand in front of the ice cream van and ask stupid questions ("I heard sprinkles are made from minced rainbows. Is that environmentally sustainable?") for as long as possible. (1 point for every person in line behind you when they finally ask you to leave.)
- Go to the crocodile tank and say "Hey, there were two in there yesterday." (5 points.)
- Put hats on the llamas. (3 points.)
- Sing "The Circle of Life" to the lions. (1 point.)
- Draw directions to the Unicorn Habitat on all the maps. (4 points.)
- Pretend you can see the lizards in their tanks, even when you can't. (No one can ever see the lizards.) (1 point.)
- Put plastic lawn flamingoes in with the real flamingoes and see if anyone notices. (5 points.)
- Cross out the signs for the tigers and write "kittens" instead. (1 point.)
- Touch the elephant's butt.* (15 points.)
- Look at the baby tapirs and squeal because seriously. ONE MILLION POINTS.
*Please do not actually touch the elephant's butt.
Anyone up for ZooPoints? Got anything to add?
Related Post: Hanging Out with Jazzy: How to Make Everything Awkward
Post a comment!