Nerd Flirting, Continuing Shenanigans, and THAT Guy
thenameselodie gives us the lowdown on old crushes, new cuties, and her awesome college orientation!—Sparkitors
Where was I last week, Sparklers? Where was I? College orientation, that’s where! It was an entire three-day adventure. I got lost more than I care to admit, and I also unintentionally got my nerd flirt on. But before we dive straight into that, here’s a question:
Elegant_Emily: “When are you and your friends going to go out and do something crazy again? I miss your shenanigans. And can we have an update on some of your guys from the school year?”
Oh, worry not; the shenanigans never stop. Deathly Hallows: Part 2 is coming up (obviously), and Harry Potter premieres are just rife with shenanigans. At the midnight showing of Part 1, my friends and I somehow managed to cut hundreds of people and go straight to the front of the line. Once inside, we began a rousing game of Catch Phrase that eventually came to include half the theater. Also, some acquaintances of ours struck up a duel in the aisles—complete with wands, robes, and Unforgivable Curses. Jaclyn, Tara, and I have our tickets for the midnight showing. Liam is going with his dude friends, but I’m sure we’ll meet up. Anyway, we’re all trying to settle on a costume. I pitched the “let’s go as wizards trying to dress up as Muggles” idea, because my first idea tanked: “Hey, would you guys still be my friend if I went as a house-elf and showed up wearing nothing but a pillowcase?”
As for guys? Let me see. Liam (for new readers, my Best Guy Friend Who is Not Boyfriend Material) just got back from Disney World, and it hasn’t escaped my notice that Liam can achieve that oh-so elusive golden brown tan in a way that ghostly pale people like myself can only dream of. Ace (new readers: my prom date who wound up being just a friend) is purportedly “over me.” Okay, this was news. I didn’t know there was anything to get over. I knew he wanted to be more than friends, but I guess I thought it was just more of a passing fancy. Anyway, he didn’t even tell me that—he told Claire, and she told me. It was all very middle school. I saw Ace at a grad party and we played some badminton, which basically consisted of me wielding a racquet and blindly swinging at the birdie because the sun was in my eyes. I think I posed a significant risk to other partygoers. I haven’t seen Spencer (my crush from earlier in the year) since, like, April. And That Guy? My super-mega-longtime-crush-whom-I’ve-liked-since-the-Mesozoic-Era? I’m sure he’s doing great. He’s going to some prestigious college that would’ve probably taken one look at my application and laughed. I’m sure he’s off stopping wars and winning prizes with that beautiful smile of his.
Speaking of guys, I met a few during orientation. Have you ever done that thing where you scope out the scene and then pick the most attractive guys in the room? You haven’t? Well, you should. It’s both fun and shallow. I ranked number one (James) and number two (Calvin). I have a confession, Sparklers. When it comes to guys, they are not immediately struck by my stunning beauty and flowery disposition. (Studio audience: “What? No!”) It takes more time than that. I’m more of a grower. I grow on people. That’s why I don’t think I made any impression whatsoever on either of them… at first.
It was Day Two, and I was trudging through a haze of ninety-degree heat with a book in hand. While everyone else was basking in the freedom and the curfews-be-damned ideology, and going “out on the town,” I was intent on finding a library. With air conditioning. Preferably before dark. The night before, I’d gotten myself almost irretrievably lost downtown for almost two hours. I was very aware that I looked like a defenseless freshman, further evidenced by the fact that I was desperately looking at a map by the light of my cell phone and practically in tears. (Not joking. I was that lost. I eventually threw myself upon the mercy of some lady walking her dog. Not pretty.) So, yeah, before dark would be good.
Anyway, I started hanging out with this girl named Tish instead, and we found out we had so much in common. She was like me, but with the flowery disposition bit. She greeted everyone who passed us by, which is how we happened to start conversing with James and Calvin, who just happened to be randomly hanging out together. (I have this theory that attractive people have strong gravitational forces in relation to other attractive people.) Wit that I am, initially I didn’t bring a whole lot to the table. Tish chatted enough for the both of us, however, and soon we’d been standing there for almost half an hour, just talking. James said he was generally averse to standing that long, and I agreed wholeheartedly. He suggested we go to this park he knew. Tish and I exchanged horrified looks.
“Wasn’t our actual plan to walk as far as we could without ever actually crossing the street or turning left or right, so we could at least get back to the dorms?” I whispered in an aside.
“Yes. Yes, it was,” she whispered back. “Should we stray?”
“Well, we don’t want to be those sissies.”
“And if we get mugged—well, maybe they’ll go for James and Calvin first. They look richer.”
“I thought you were going to say ‘maybe they’ll protect us, being big strong dudes and all,’ but your idea is way better. They do look richer. Look at James’ hair! That’s got to be some kind of sixty-dollar product, right?”
Both guys were kind of leaning in to catch a bit of our whispered conversation, but Tish and I wrapped it up and faced them, smiling, and said we were in.
“By the way,” said Tish as we started to walk, “what do you use on your hair?”
“What?” said James, confused, which made Tish and I giggle because going to college hadn’t bolstered our maturity levels in the slightest.
Now, you may think the focus of this would be on James, since he was ranked number one and had the hair of the gods, but I identified more with Calvin. Plus, I think—I think—we may have nerd flirted. You know, nerd flirted. I’ve been told regular people flirt sometimes. Or at least, I’ve seen it in movies. Not exactly a novice here, people. But Calvin and I talked about books and he recited his favorite poetry (I’m pretty sure Tristan, my Almost First Kiss But Not Really, didn’t even have a favorite poem). We disagreed about books and we talked about philosophy. Deep stuff. He claimed to be socially awkward, but he wasn’t. I’m pretty sure that was more my territory. Occasionally I came through with some eloquent responses, but more often than not my sole contribution was “yeah” or “that’s cool” or some variation thereof.
“Now that I know you’re going to be an English major,” he said, “I’m not going to let you get away.”
“We’ll have to chill in the fall,” I said. “Talk about books. Poetry. Nietzsche. You know, casual conversation.”
He smiled. “I’m holding you to that.”
True to form, both of us—self-proclaimed socially awkward nerds—failed to exchange numbers or anything definitive like that. It was our last night, and I left early the next morning. But you know what I realized? Apart from being just the right amount of cute, smart-but-not-obnoxious-about-it, funny as well as quirky, and having that whole Southern gentleman thing going on… he had a great smile.
Almost as good—maybe even better—than the legendary this-face-can-cure-cancer smile of my high school fixation, That Guy.
Could Elodie have found her next THAT Guy? Has anyone else been to orientation yet? DID YOU NERD FLIRT?
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