Had a bad day? Yeah, so have we. (Everyone who works for SparkLife lives together on a bus, like the Partridge family, and today the toilet got blocked.) But maybe your day was worse than that. Maybe you're reading this from hospital right now. Maybe you're reading it through your nose because your eyes are in splints. And you're possibly going to have to type your comments with your feet. Maybe, just maybe, there were racoons involved.
But no matter how bad your day has been, it always could have been worse. Just be thankful that none of these things happened.
1. You didn't pull your top dresser drawer out so far so that it fell out and landed on your foot.
2. You didn't get fired.
3. If you did, it probably wasn't from a cannon.
4. You didn't drop an entire box of DVDs down two flights of stairs.
5. No one forced you to watch The Duck Song 93 times in a row.
6. You didn't step out onto a crowded balcony only to have it collapse under your added weight.
7. You didn't have to hunt and eat a pigeon because you forgot your lunch.
8. All your clocks did not stop simultaneously.
9. No one has yet made a working voodoo doll of you.
10. Your knitting project didn't catch fire.
11. You didn't get an ill-advised bellybutton piercing from a large tattooed woman in the parking lot of the mall.
12. Consequently, your small intestine is not now trying to escape through your horribly infected bellybutton.
13. You didn't throw up on Johnny Depp.
14. You didn't find yourself in a situation which necessitated trading your iPhone for a pair of pants.
15. You didn't swallow a bee.
16. You didn't decide that learning to play the harmonica would be a valuable use of your time, therefore you were not sorely disappointed three hours and four harmonica-induced cold sores later.
17. You didn't accidentally eat a poisoned macaroon.
18. You didn't cover yourself in tiny paper hearts and hide in a cupboard to surprise your SO, only to surprise his dad instead.
19. Nobody told you that your nail polish looks like you dipped your fingers in baby barf.
20. You didn't button yourself inside a duvet cover, then discover you couldn't get out.
21. You didn't fall out of a plane, through the roof of a factory, and into a vat of acid.
22. You didn't start clapping like an idiot in the middle of a crowded theater because the people in the movie started clapping, and it was just second nature for you to clap back.
23. You didn't wake up on a train with amnesia and no shoes.
24. You didn't miss the entire weekend because you were stuck in an elevator for 56 hours.
25. You still have all your teeth.
What's the worst thing that happened to you today?
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