How to Succeed at Shakespeare Without Really Trying

strangeNilikeit is blogging Shakespeare camp, n-we-like-it. —Sparkitors

This past week at Shakespeare Camp has been crazy. As our assistant director Rainbow says, “Things just got real, son.”

The Bus Song Contest was as entertaining as ever. My bus, the Upper Maryland Narwhals and Unicorns, sadly did not win, even though we were covered in glitter and our medley of song parodies included “Purple Bus Rider” and “Short Bus/Long Commute” (to the tunes of Paperback Writer and Short Skirt/Long Jacket, respectively.) The winners were the ultimate underdogs: the drop-off kids, who were so unlikely to win that I didn’t even mention them when I listed the contenders in my last post. Instead of giving the remaining groups 2nd, 3rd and 4th place as usual, the judges decided to award superlatives.

Judges: We didn’t want to be too judge-y.
Me (from audience): Yeah, because it’s not like that’s your job or anything.
Several people: SHUT UP, GWEN.

But some good did come of it: after I got home, I felt a strange compulsion to create a Zoo Tycoon zoo inhabited solely by narwhals and unicorns, who I then named after the people on my bus.

In other news, Shakespeare Camp has officially become Shakespeare Boot Camp.

In an effort to make the Fantastic Fourteen (my new name for Traveling Troupe/myself and the rest of the cast of Romeo & Juliet) more “connected to our breath,” our director Genie and our assistant directors, Rainbow and Adobo, have put into effect a new policy in which we start each day by running around camp in a line while simultaneously saying our lines. If you’ve ever had to speak in Elizabethan iambic pentameter, you’ll know it is already challenging enough without having to run around in the heat at the same time. We’ve been getting strange, pitying looks from random strangers who seem to think we’re such a bizarre spectacle that they should stop and take pictures of us running.

I shouldn’t complain, though. The running thing actually does connect us with our breath, and it has the added bonus of making me feel like a Serious Hardcore Elite Classical Actress.

Which reminds me: our weekly camp-out was hardcore. Usually it’s so unbearably hot that most people bring only a sleeping mat and a sheet, but this week, it was COLD. Fortunately, I’d brought a sleeping bag. Unfortunately, my darling best friend/tent-mate Sunny had not. We decided to unzip my sleeping bag and use it as a giant blanket—and even then it was still cold. Much to my chagrin and touchy-feely Sunny’s satisfaction, we ended up snuggling together for warmth. Sunny now brings this up every ten seconds. Sparklers, I will never live it down. I can feel my reputation as the camp cold-hearted shrew fading away already.

The highlight of the week was our run-through of the entire show.

The problem with doing a run of the entire play is that we’ve only blocked/memorized the first two acts (out of five).  When we reached the third act, things sort of deteriorated. By the end of act five, the directors were in stitches and no one was even attempting to seriously act. The following is a transcript of approximately how it went:

The Capulet Ball

Romeo (taking Juliet’s hand): If I profane with my unworthiest hand…

Meanwhile, on the other side of the stage:
Lady Capulet: Guys, let’s do the hokey pokey.
Mercutio: You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out…
(everyone does the hokey-pokey)
Lady C: Okay, now GRIND!
(everyone begins fake-grinding; this eventually becomes a mosh pit)

Paris Visits Juliet’s Grave

Paris: Sweet flower, with flowers thy bridal bed I strew.
Lady C (from audience): Uh, Paris? That’s Tybalt. Juliet’s over there.
(“dead” Juliet laughs so hard she falls off her coffin)

Etcetera etcetera. After act four we discovered that there were only five copies of the act five script, and thirteen people who needed a copy, including yours truly. Fortunately, my guy BFF/stage-lover Arthur and I  devised a solution.

Romeo and Juliet Commit Suicide

Romeo (kissing Juliet): Thus, with a kiss, I—
(Capulet jumps out from behind the tomb, snatches Romeo’s script and sprints offstage)
Romeo: …die. (He dies)
Some time later
Juliet: O happy dagger, this is thy sheath! There rust, and let me—
(Lady Capulet jumps out from behind the tomb, snatches Juliet’s script and sprints offstage)
Juliet: …die. (She dies)

Friar Laurence Reveals the Truth

Friar Laurence: Romeo, there dead, was husband to that Juliet.
Capulet, Lady C, and Lady Montague: WHAAAAAAAATT?!! (sounding exactly like the yellow guy from Despicable Me)

So that was basically the tone of the next day and a half. It was a pretty awesome day and a half.

Next at Shakespeare Camp: we get serious about this play. Maybe we’ll even have costumes and a set and all that other stuff by the time we go on tour. Only time will tell.

Is this what you thought Shakespeare camp would be like? Where would you want to go on tour if you were in an acting troupe?

Related Posts: Blogging Shakespeare Camp