Blogging The Naked Roommate
Our prom blogger Faye is now getting ready for college with the the help of the ultimate college guide, THE NAKED ROOMMATE by Harlan Cohen. Enjoy her new blog! —Sparkitors
It’s summer! That means waking up at noon, going to the beach, getting ready for college, and catching up on my reading. And doing all those things at the same time!
That's right—I’m taking a break from my normal “Faye gives you every gory detail of her nonexistent love life” (don’t worry, I’ll be back to blogging my life soon enough) and I’m blogging a book instead. It’s The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College, the #1 Going-To-College Book. You know it’s the #1 Going-To-College Book because it says so on the cover.
After skimming the first chapter, I’ve decided to name the book Harv. One, so I can address the kind stranger giving me tips about how to survive the next four years, and two, I feel it’s only proper for books to have names, and this book looks like a Harv. Oh, and also so when my friends ask what I’m doing on Thursday night I can tell them I’m spending the evening with Harv. It’s perfect!
So, without further ado, Chapter 1: Arriving on Campus—Oh Yeah, It’s College Time!
Tip #1: You have no freaking idea
The book says to expect the unexpected in college. Don’t have such high expectations that you’re going to be let down when things don’t turn out as you planned. I guess this means the college I made on The Sims isn’t going to serve as a fair representation for the next stage in my life.
Tip #2: Stuff takes time
Don’t go into college thinking that everything is going to be awesome right away. Making friends, finding where you fit in, and getting good grades takes time. Have patience. This makes sense. Becoming awesome is a gradual process. You have to bake a cake before you eat it. Unless you buy the cake… but that’s cheating, and it means my analogy doesn’t make sense.
Tip #3: Clubbing it up
Find out where you fit. Join clubs, play sports, make friends. Just get involved, darn it!
Did I mislead you with this tip title? Yeah, we’re not up to the super fun tips yet. Just wait until Chapter 9 (I’m going to allude to Chapter 9 for the next 8 weeks: just building up the hype.)
Tip #4: I have no clue where I am right now
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether you’re figuratively lost, or physically. And have a map for both, just in case.
Fun fact for you: I got lost my second week of high school. It was pretty sad: I knew my locker was upstairs, and I figured all stairs led upstairs, so as long as I found stairs I was good. WRONG. Not all stairs lead upstairs. Some stairs lead up to the auditorium balconies. Lesson learned: stairs are dirty liars.
Tip #5: Born This Way
Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone else so you can fit in. If you’re just you, you’ll find where you’re supposed to be.
Don’t be a drag, just be a queen. Whether you’re broke or evergreen. I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean. Something, something, born this way!
Tip #6: Parental units
Plan a time for calling home. Keep your parents involved in your life, but not overly involved. Parents calling your professors or fixing all your problems are big no-no’s. And send a hand-written card home every so often.
Translation: Parents, try to keep the Facebook stalking to a minimum. This means you, Mom.
Tip #7: The Dark Side
College brochures only show the good stuff: a multicultural group of friends is smiling and holding hands and the grass is green and the sun is shining. The shocking truth: sometimes it rains. You’re going to get homesick (most people do). It’s perfectly normal. Don’t go running back home, though. Make college your new home and you’ll be comfortable soon enough.
Harv makes an excellent point here. Seriously, take out the old college brochures you got in the mail. See, everyone is smiling! It’s kind of creepy.
Tip #8: Facebook: Your greatest foe
Technology is great. Facebook makes it easy to meet people, make plans, and make connections. But don’t get so lost online that you lose all human contact. Facebook is a supplement, not a substitute to relationships.
Gah, it’s scary how true this is. I went on Facebook three times while writing this post.
And that’s it for this week. If the suspense of what happens in Chapter 9 is killing you, go to your local Barnes & Noble and buy the book and read along with Harv and me. That was in no way a promotion for SparkNotes’ parent company. That would be in poor taste.
Until next week,
What do you think of The Naked Roommates' advice so far?
Related Post: The Truth About College Life